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Garofalo was in another relation with Ben Stiller. Their official dating started from the show, ''The Ben Stiller Show'' in 1992. The couple had done many shows together and also published several books together too. Later on, they split up, and she is single now. Net Worth. The comedian, Janeane have an estimated net worth of $10 million. More about the Janeane Garofalo and Mather Zickel dating / relationship. More about the Janeane Garofalo and Mitch Rouse dating / relationship. More about the Janeane Garofalo and James Lance dating / relationship. More about the Janeane Garofalo and Pete Caldes dating / relationship. Who is Janeane Garofalo dating? Janeane Garofalo is currently married to Brody Tate. The couple started dating in 2015 and have been together for around 5 years, 7 months, and 7 days. The American Movie Actress was born in New Jersey on September 28, 1964. Actor and political activist who starred with Ben Stiller in Reality Bites and Mystery Men. Relationships. Janeane Garofalo was previously married to Robert Cohen (1992 - 2012).. Janeane Garofalo has been in relationships with Henry Rollins (2007 - 2008), Fred Armisen (2004), Craig Bierko (1999), Mitch Rouse (1996 - 1997), Bob Odenkirk (1995 - 1996), Ben Stiller (1990), Greg Behrendt, James Lance, Pete Caldes and Mather Zickel.. About. Janeane Garofalo is a 55 year old American Actress. Profession: Actor Born: Sep 28, 1964 Died: Jan 1, 0001 Biography: Actress, comedian, and paragon of cynicism Janeane Garofalo was born on September 28, 1964, in Newton, NJ. During high school, her family relocated to Houston, TX, where the trauma of the move prompted her famously insecure, self-loathing persona... Is Brody Tate married or dating? Regarding his marital status, Tate is a married man. His wife is none other than American actress Janeane Garofalo (born on September 28, 1964) who is also known for her stand-up comedian and voice artist career. On the other hand, his reputed wife, Janeane, owns a whopping net value of $10 million. Brody Tate Married Actress Janeane Garofalo in 2015. Yes, it was 2015 when Brody Tate tied the knot with the gorgeous actress, Janeane Garofalo. Consequently, it widened his networking far more, as the romantic affiliation with the Saturday Night Live ... Janeane Garofalo Dating Henry Rollins sont fréquentes, nous surveillons en permanence l'activité du site afin de limiter les profils indésirables et les escroqueries. Pour cela une équipe de modérateurs contrôle tous les nouveaux profils manuellement et reste disponible 24h/24. For comedian Janeane Garofalo, staying married for 20 years was a cinch -- perhaps because she had absolutely no idea she was still hitched to her '90s boyfriend. The 48-year-old says she married 'The Big Bang Theory' producer Rob Cohen 'as a joke' in 1991, but didn't think the nuptials had actually stuck. See all Janeane Garofalo's marriages, divorces, hookups, break ups, affairs, and dating relationships plus celebrity photos, latest Janeane Garofalo news, gossip, and biography. Janeane Garofalo is currently single. She has been in eight celebrity relationships averaging approximately 3.8 years each. Her only marriage lasted 20.2 years.
Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp is one of my favorite shows that Netflix has ever made.
2020.09.29 16:50 LutzExpertTeraWet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp is one of my favorite shows that Netflix has ever made.
I see a lot of (justified) praise for some of Netflix's other comedy series, but Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp is one of my favorite pieces of content that Netflix has ever produced. I find myself watching it at least once a year, cracking a few beers, and laughing my ass off. The show itself is an 8 episode prequel series to the 2001 film of the same name and has actors in their 30s and 40s playing teenage camp counselors with no attempts to hide their age or make them look younger. Elizabeth Banks was in her 40s when she shot this, her character was a 24 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, and her hiding her age was just putting part of her hair up. They lean into that absurdity the whole movie and it's better for it. And how can you beat that cast?! They returned Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Elizabeth Banks, Ken Marino, Joe Lo Truglio, Janeane Garofalo, H. Jon Benjamin, Michael Ian Black, David Hyde Pierce, Molly Shannon, Michael Showalter, Christopher Meloni, Judah Friedlander, AD Miles, Marguerite Moreau, and Zak Orth from the movie while introduce new cast members like Lake Bell, John Hamm, Kristen Wiig, Chris Pine, Jason Schwartzman, Michael Cera, Randall Park, Jordan Peele, Paul Scheer, and David Wain ... and they fit ALL these cast members (and more) into just 8 episodes! If you've seen the movie in advance you have a bunch of expectations for who is dating who, who is friends with who, and personality types of some characters but the series swerves these expectations by setting up absurd plot lines and very random coupling. The whole show is full of surreal comedy with Coop looking increasingly bizarre, the Camp Tiger Claw guys, Chris Pine's character, and the Presidential battle at the very end. Plus, every time I hear that intro song of Jane by Jefferson Starship I get so fucking pumped. They also made a sequel series to the this and the movie, Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later which is also pretty great, but I'll give the edge to First Day of Camp. I don't see this show mentioned on this sub too often, so urge anyone who hasn't seen it to check it out! Clicks submits which triggers sound of a pot breaking
2020.08.22 20:53 Rainmaker825A Full List of Cameos on 2 1/2 Men
These are a full list of cameos on 2 1/2 men. The rules are that they could not have appeared in more than 2 episodes, and they can't play a character that advances the storyline of the season. And they have to be A or B list celebs you would recognize at a Starbucks on Ventura Blvd :P Full List of Celebrity Cameos Season 1 Episode 4: Steven Tyler (only his voice, when he catches Alan giving Berta an adjustment, but Tyler thinks he is boning her). Episode 12: Megan Fox as Berta’s granddaughter who’s 16, and Charlie and Alan are very tempted. Episode 14: Richard Lewis as Charlie’s criminal accountant who stops paying his bills because he had an “import/export” problem. Episode 18: Chris O’Donnell who stars as Charlie’s ex who’s now a trans man. Episode 19: Teri Hatcher who is Judith’s sister. Charlie once slept with her at Alan/Judith’s wedding reception Episode 21: Heather Locklear who Charlie sleeps with, and then dumps, and she screws Alan because of it. Season 2 Episode 1: Sean Penn, Elvis Costello, Harry Dean Stanton, Bobby Cooper are a part of Charlie’s men's support group who think it’s messed up he won’t include Alan. Episode 17: Ken Jeong, before he was famous, he plays a male nurse. In real life he’s an actual doctor. Episode 18: Lucy Lawless, plays the ex wife of a gay music producer who thinks Charlie is gay, until he “convinces her” he’s not. Episode 24: Orson Beane, plays a wealthy husband of a woman Charlie sleeps with Episode 3: Episode 7: Martin Sheen plays Rose’s Dad who starts to have a fling with Evelyn Episode 9: Cloris Leachmann who plays an older woman who makes Alan her sugar baby Episode 17: Jon Lovitz plays a jingle writer that overshadows Charlie Episode 20: Kevin Sorbo plays Kandi’s Dad Season 4: Episode 2: Steven Tyler rents the house next to Charlie and kicks Charlie’s ass Episode 14: Brooke Shields, Charlie’s crazy new neighbor that wants to have a Devil’s 3 way with Charlie and Alan Episode 15: Allison Janney plays Alan’s internet date that ties him up Episode 16: Morgan Fairchild plays a cougar that picks up Charlie at a seniors bar. Episode 23: Enrique Iglesias plays Charlie’s handyman that Charlie becomes jealous of, and ends up taking his girl Season 5 Episode 2: Janeane Garofalo who plays Alan’s neurotic date who she sleeps with, then gets mad at Episode 8: Richard Kind, plays Charlie’s record producer for childrens songs Season 6: Episode 11: Emilio Estevez, Charlie’s best friend (and real life brother) who dies on his balcony, causing Charlie to face his own mortality Season 7 Episode 1: Eddie Van Halen runs into Brian at a recording studio while heading to the bathroom Episode 21: ZZ Top (Dusty Hill, Billy Gibbons, Frank Berd), he sees while hallucinating on pot Season 9: Episode 1: John Stamos, Thomas Gibson, Jenna Elfman are people who come to look at the house after Charlie dies. Episode 6: Joe Manganiello before he was famous as Bridgette’s date. Episode 9: Gary Busey as Alan’s suitemate at the “stress clinic” Episode 22: Kathy Bates plays the form from Charlie who came up from hell Season 10: Episode 20: Scott Bakula Plays the rich older husband of Ashley Episode 23: Marilu Henner & Hillary Duff. Walden starts dating Hillary, but becomes interested in her Grandma Season 11: Episode 6: Lynda Carter, who Alan loves and wants to date but she wants Walden Episode 7,12: Jeff Probst, cock blocks Walden in one episode, and Alan in another Episode 13: Tim Conway, Gary Marshall, Steve Lawrence, friends of Marty who play themselves attending Marty’s bachelor party. Episode 19: Mila Kunis, Walden's real life wife shows up as a backpacker. Episode 21: Diedrich Bader plays the guy who buys Walden’s first car, and sells it back to them Episode 22: Brad Paisley, Gretchen’s real life husband comes to take her right before she marries Alan. Season 12: Episode 16: Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Detective that takes Walden & Alan’s report on Charlie wanting to kill them, Christian Slater is the guy they think is Charlie and he’s is cuffed to bench at the station, John Stamos plays himself and is having sex with Bridgette...
2020.06.04 17:08 ChildfreeFamilyHelp fact-checking a list of well known Childfree people
I'm compiling a list of childfree people for a blog. I have found a few lists online (which have been helpful). But in some cases they were not up-to-date. A person may have had children since being added to their list (example: I had to remove George Clooney who appeared on a number of lists). Or there might be some people missing who should be on the list. If you have a moment to scan the list and let me know of any other errors or omissions it would be appreciated. It has been fun working on this list. A few people on it surprised me. Thanks again for any help. \Edit for clarification: the term "childfree", in the sense of this list, will be in regards to people who never had a child from a live birth, fostered a child, adopted a child, or was a step-parent.* Herbert Samuel Adams – Sculptor Charles Addams – Cartoonist (The New Yorker) Jane Addams - Social Worker, Political Activist, Co-Founder of the ACLU, & Nobel Peace Prize Winner Nancy Addison – Actress Louisa May Alcott – Author Cynthia May Westover Alden – Author, Philanthropist Grover Cleveland Alexander – Baseball Player Suzy Allegra – Author Marty Allen – Comedian John Murray Anderson – Musical Theatre Producer Laurie Anderson – Performance Artist Marian Anderson – Concert Singer Louis Andriessen – Composer Jennifer Aniston – Actress Susan B. Anthony – Womans’ Suffragist Samuel Appleton – Politician, Philanthropist Geoffrey Arend - Actor Louis Armstrong – Musician (Contested: The Louis Armstrong Museum states he had no children, but in 2012 Sharon Preston-Folta has claimed to be his daughter from Lucille “Sweets” Preston, a dancer at the New York Cotton Club) Boris Artzybasheff – Artist Dorothy Arzner – Film Director Dr. Robert C. Atkins – Diet Doctor, Author, Creator of the Atkins Diet V.C. Andrews – Author Jane Austen – Author Max Baer Jr. – Actor Francis Bacon – Politician, Philosopher, Scientist Florence Bailey – Author, Naturalist, Ornithologist Tallulah Bankhead – Actress Abdullah al-Baradouni – Yemeni Poet Bob Barker – Game Show Host Joe Barr – Canadian Politician Lynda Barry – Cartoonist Clara Barton - Nurse, Humanitarian, Founder and First President of the American Red Cross Kathy Bates – Actress Jaya Battacharya – Actress King Baudouin – King of Belgium Samuel Beckett – Author, Playwright, Poet Ludwig Van Beethoven – Composer Joe Besser – Actor Isabella Bird – Author Jacqueline Bisset – Actress Lewis Black – Comedian Eubie Blake – Musician, Composer William Blake – Artist Brenda Blethyn – Actress Marc Blitzstein – Composer, Dramatist Baroness Karen Blixen – Author Rosa Bonheur – French Painter and Sculptor Pierre Bonnard – Artist William Edgar Borah – Politician Lara Flynn Boyle – Actress Georges Brassens – Singer Alison Brie – Actress Joe Bob Briggs aka John Bloom – Author, Movie Critic Raymond Briggs – Children’s Book Author Poppy Z. Brite – Author Anne Bronte – Author Louise Brooks – Actress Helen Gurley Brown – Feminist, Editor Reno Browne – Actress, Equestrian Delta Burke – Actress Kathy Burke - Actress, Comedian James Buchanan – 15th U.S. President Pat Buchanan – Politician, Presidential Candidate James Burke – Creator of the PBS Series “Connections”, Scientific American columnist Raymond Burr – Actor Caryl Lee Burroughs – Hollywood Animal Trainer Leo Buscaglia – Author Brett Butler – Actress, Comedian Julia Cameron – Director Phyllis Carlyle – Film Producer Dora Carrington – Bloomsbury Artist Laura Carroll – Author Mary Casatt – Artist Roger Casement – Irish Patriot Nina Cassian – Poet Barbara Castle – British Politician Kim Cattrall – Actress Mary Chapin Carpenter – Singer, Songwriter Rosamond Halsey Carr – Founder of Rwanda’s Imbabazi Orphanage, Author, Fashion Designer Richard Chamberlain – Actor Coco Chanel – Fashion Designer (Contested: Following her elder sister’s suicide, she looked after her son) Stockard Channing – Actress RuPaul Andre Charles - Drag Performer, TV Personality Judy Chicago – Artist Margaret Cho – Comedian Julia Child – Professional Chef, Cookbook Author Helen Clark – New Zealand Prime Minister Patricia Clarkson – Actress Dorothy Clewes – Children’s Book Author Imogene Coca – Actress Claudette Colbert – Actress Billy Collins – U.S. Poet Laureate C. Collodi – Author William Conrad – Actor Frances Conroy – Actress Storm Constantine – Fantasy Writer Jill Ker Conway – Author, first woman President of Smith College Anne Cool – Canadian Senator Pat Coombs – Actress Copernicus – Scientist John Corbett – Actor Joseph Cornell – Artist and Creator of the Cornell Box Ann Coulter – Political Commentator Alec Sadler Craig – Australian Politician, Philanthropist Quentin Crisp – Author, Actor Tim Curry – Actor Charlotte Curtis – First woman on the masthead of The New York Times Patrika Darbo – Actress Simone de Beauvoir – Author Mahmoud Darwish – Palestinian Poet Leonardo Da Vinci – Artist Gray Davis – Governor of California Ellen Degeneres – Comedian Jeffery Deaver – Author Eugene Victor Debs – Activist Bessie and Sadie Delaney – Authors Dana Delany – Actress Don DeLillo – Author Del Rubio Triplets – Musical Group Bo Derek – Actress Rene Descartes – Philosopher Portia De Rossi – Actress Emily Dickinson – Poet Benjamin Disraeli – Politician, Author Steve Ditko – Cartoonist, co-creator of the Spider-Man Comics Dorothea Dix – Educator, writer, philanthropist Hannah Dobryn – Author Tamara Dobson – Actress Richard Donner – Film Director Lauren Shuler Donner – Film Producer Lizzie Douglas aka Memphis Minnie- Singer, Guitarist, Songwriter Marjory Stoneman Douglas – Environmentalist, Founder of Friends of the Everglades Maureen Dowd – Columnist, Pulitzer Prize winner Sir George Downing – Founder of Downing College, Cambridge, England Gabriel Dumont – Native American Tribal Leader Lena Dunham - Actress, Director, Producer Francis Drake – Explorer Fran Drescher – Actress Esther Dyson – Author, Internet Expert Amelia Earhart – Aviator Deborah Eisenberg – Author Liubov Egorova – Dancer Anita Ekberg – Actress T.S. Eliot – Poet Havelock Ellis – Psychologist, Author Tracee Ellis Ross – Actress Harlan Ellison – Author Elizabeth I – Queen of England Joan Elm – Canadian Politician, Community Activist Bonnie Erbé – PBS Commentator and Columnist Dame Edith Evans – British Film and Stage Actress Linda Evans – Actress Rupert Everett – Actor Anne Ewers – CEO of the Utah Symphony & Opera Jane Fallon – Author Chow Yun-Fat – Actor Barbara Feldon – Actress Pamelyn Ferdin – Actress Ralph Fiennes – Actor Lynn Fontanne – Actress Margot Fonteyn – British Ballerina Juliana Rieser Force – Whitney Museum Director Richard Ford – Author, Editor of Granta Margaretta Forten – Abolitionist Dian Fossey – Anthropologist Janet Frame – Poet Felix Frankfurter – Supreme Court Justice Tanya Franks – Actress William Frawley – Actor Frank Frazetta – Artist Alice Freeman – First woman to be President of a liberal arts college, (Wellesley), helped establish the University of Chicago. Elsie Freund – Artist, Jewelry Designer Louis Freund – Artist Robert Fripp – Composer, Musician Stephen Fry - Actor, Comedian Eva Gabor – Actress Magda Gabor – Actress Maxwell Gage – Noted New Zealand Geologist Diamanda Galas – Singer Tess Gallagher – Author Paul William Gallico – Author Janeane Garofalo – Actress, Comedian Greta Garbo – Actress Ava Gardner – Actress Henry Garfiled aka Henry Rollins - Musician (Black Flag, Rollins Band) Greer Garson – Actress Gloria Gaynor – Singer Anthony Geary – Soap Opera Actor Ricky Gervais – Comedian William Schwenck Gilbert – Composer for Gilbert & Sullivan Althea Gibson – Athlete Dorothy Gish – Actress Lillian Gish – Actress Katharine Bruce Glasier – Author Susan Glaspell – Playwright Sharon Gless – Actress Crispin Glover – Actor Christoph Willibald Gluck – Composer Paulette Goddard – Actress Robert Hutchings Goddard – Physicist Kurt Godel – Author Alexander Godunov – Actor, Dancer Stephen Goldin – Author Emma Goldman – Activist, Feminist Valeria Golino – Actress Jan Goodwin – Author, Travel Writer Edward Gorey – Artist Lotte Goslar – Dancer Lauren Graham - Actress (Contested - Her long-term partner has a child.) Martha Graham – Choreographer Cecil Green – Former CEO of Texas Instruments, Philanthropist Johnny Green – Musician Gael Greene – Food Critic, Author Baroness Susan Greenfield – Director of the Royal Institution, Professor of Synaptic Pharmacology at Oxford University, Neurologist John Robert Gregg – Inventor of the Gregg Shorthand Method, Publisher Joyce Grenfell – British Actress Nanci Griffith – Singer, Songwriter Martha Griffiths – First Female Michigan Lieutenant Governor Terry Gross – NPR Host James Grout – Actor Mabel Dole Haden – Former President of NABWA Catherine Hakim – British Sociologist Daryl Hall – Singer, Musician (Hall & Oates) Jon Hamm - Actor Celia Hammond – Former Model and Animal Activist Lionel Hampton – Musician Georg Friedrich Handel – Composer Chelsea Handler - Comedian Howard Harold Hanson – Pulitzer-Prize Winning Composer Setsuko Hara – Japanese Actress Warren Gamaliel Harding – 29th U.S. President E Chambré Hardman – Photographer Jean Harlow - Actress Debbie Harry – Singer (Blondie) Alex Heard – Author Sir Edward Heath - Politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Susan Helms – Astronaut Christina Hendricks - Actress, Model Adrian Henri – Poet, Painter Marguerite Henry – Children’s Book Author Katherine Hepburn – Actress Milton S. Hershey – Founder of the Hershey Chocolate Company Lorena Hickok – AP Political Reporter Taiko Hirabayashi – Author Nicole Hollander – Cartoonist Thelma Holt – Actress, Theatre Producer Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. – Associate Justice of the Supreme Court (USA) Grace Murray Hopper – Computer Scientist Rima Horton - Politician Soad Hosni – Egyptian Actress Lila Kedrova Howard – Actress Mick Hucknall – Singer Howard Hughes - American Business Magnate, Investor, Pilot, Engineer, Film Director, Philanthropist Bonnie Hunt – Actress Kristin Hunter – Children’s Book Author Lauren Hutton – Actress, Model Patricia Ireland – President of the National Organization for Women, NOW George J. Irbe – Creator of the Great Lakes water temperature climatology John A. “Jack” Jackson – Philanthropist, Oilman Tove Jansson – Children’s Book Author Randall Jarrell – Poet Anna Jarvis – the “Founder of Mother’s Day” Joan of Arc – Christian Saint Jack Johnson – First African-American to win the heavyweight boxing championship of the world. Margaret Johnston – Actress Martin and Osa Johnson – Authors, Photographers, explorers, and naturalists. Richard Mentor Johnson – U.S. Vice-President Samuel Johnson – Author, Editor William Hugh Johnston – Labor Leader Carolyn Jones – Actress Renee Jones – Actress Spike Jonze – Film Director Ashley Judd – Actress, Activist Madeline Kahn – Actress Immanuel Kant – Philosopher Julie Kavner – Actress Nikos Kazantzakis – Author Odette Keene – Musician Helen Keller – Author Joyce Kennard – Judge Joe Kernan – Politician Maynard Keynes – Economist, Founder of the Vic-Wells Ballet, Financed the Arts Theatre in Cambridge, England King Louis XVI – King of France William Lyon MacKenzie King – Former Canadian Prime Minister William Rufus King – U.S. Vice-President Robert Kiyosaki – Author Caroline Knapp – Author Aleksandra Kollontai – Author Dean Koontz – Author Tadeusz Kościuszko – Polish Patriot Jerzy Kosinski – Author Jonathan Kozol – Author, Activist Lee Krasner – Artist Albert Kroc – Co-Developer of McDonald’s Fast Food Chain Henry Richardson Labouisse – Diplomat, Former Head of UNICEF Karl Lagerfeld - Fashion Designer Princess Lakshmi – Indian Princess Elsa Lanchester – Actress Philip Larkin – Author, Poet Charles Laughton – Actor, Director Dan Lauria – Actor Frank John Lausche – Politician Tom Lehrer – Singer, Musician Jay Leno – TV Host Richard Lewis – Comedian Lyn Lifshin – Poet Queen Liliuokalani – Queen of Hawaii Siân Lloyd – Weather Broadcaster Carole Lombard – Actress Jack Lord – Actor Pauline Lord – Actress Patty Loveless – Singer Alfred Lunt – Actor John Lyon – Philanthropist, Regarded as the Founder of The Great Public School Of Harrow Rose McClendon – Actress Robert McCormick – Former Owner of the Chicago Tribune Mary Jackson McCrorey – Politician, Activist Hattie McDaniel – Actress Roddy McDowall – Actor, Photographer Odd McIntyre – Newspaper Columnist Ian McKellen – Actor Kristy McNichol – Actress Janet McTeer – Actress Christine McVie – Singer, Songwriter (Fleetwood Mac) Dora Maar – Photographer René Magritte – Artist Bill Maher – TV Personality Katherine Mansfield – Author Shirley Manson – Singer Vito Anthony Marcantonio – Politician Francesca Marciano – Actress Miriam Margoyles – Actress Mary Ellen Mark – Award-Winning Photographer William III & Mary II of England – King & Queen of England, Ireland, and Scotland Bobbie Ann Mason – Children’s Book Author Mari Matsunaga – Creator of i-mode, Named One of the Top 25 Tech Women of the Web Theresa May - Politician, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Giuseppe Mazzini – Italian Patriot Fradique de Menezes – President of Sao Tome and Principe Melina Mercouri – Greek Actress Freddie Mercury – Musician Angela Merkel – German Chancellor George Michael – Musician Oscar Micheaux – Film Director, Producer, Author Edna St. Vincent Millay – Poet Alley Mills – Actress Brenda Milner – Renowned Professor of Neuro-Psychology: Mcgill’s Faculty Of Medicine And At The Montreal Neurological Institute Kylie Minogue - Singer Helen Mirren – Actress Margaret Mitchell – Author Eugenio Montale – Nobel Prize Winner, Poet, Author, Editor, Translator Vicki Moore – Spanish Animal Rights Philanthropist John Morgan – Founder of the University of Pennsylvania Medical School, and Medical Director of the Continental Army Lady Morgan (Sydney Owenson) – Author Morrissey – Musician Rob Morse – Columnist (San Francisco Chronicle) Marjorie “Mo” Mowlam – Britain’s Secretary of State for Northern Ireland John Mulaney – Comedian Annamarie Tendler Mulaney – Artist Diana Muldaur – Actress Megan Mullally - Actress Ona Munson – Actress Haruki Murakami – Author Iris Murdoch – Author Mikayil Mushfig – Poet Modest Mussorgsky – Composer Kanagarajah Muthiah – Tamil Activist Ralph Nader – Activist Taslima Nasrin – Author Alla Nazimova – Actress Noel Neill – Actress Bebe Neuwirth – Actress Sir Isaac Newton – Scientist Stevie Nicks – Singer (Fleetwood Mac) Friedrich Nietzsche – Philosopher Florence Nightingale – Nurse Ursula Nordstrom – Children’s Book Editor Jessye Norman – Opera Singer Kim Novak – Actress Rudolph Nureyev – Dancer Anita O’Day – Jazz Singer Georgia O’Keeffe – Artist Frederick D. O’Neal – Actor, Playwright Joyce Carol Oates – Author Nick Offerman - Actor Sandra Oh - Actress Claire Parker – Director, Animator Dorothy Parker – Author Suzanne-Lori Parks – Playwright Rosa Parks – Activist Dolly Parton – Singer, Actress Julia Pascal – Playwright Ann Patchett – Author Alicia Patterson – Editor Wolfgang Pauli – Physicist Linus Pauling – Winner of Nobel Prizes in Chemistry and Peace Sarah Paulson – Actress Michelle Paver – Author Anna Pavlova – Dancer Molly Peacock – Poet, President Emerita of the Poetry Society of America Minnie Pearl – Singer Samuel Pepys – Author Matthew Perry - Actor Bernadette Peters – Actress Jean Peters - Actress Arthur Phillip – First British Administrator Sent to Australia Wendell Phillips – Orator and Reformer William Phillips – Co-founder and Editor of Partisan Review , Writer, Critic Marge Piercy – Author, Poet Plato – Philosopher Martha Plimpton - Actress Edgar Allan Poe – Author Jackson Pollock – Artist Katherine Ann Porter – Author Parker Posey – Actress Beatrix Potter – Children’s Book Author Charles Edward Potter – Politician, Philanthropist, Administrator of the Cheboygan County Bureau of Social Aid Joyce Purnick – Former New York Times Metro Editor, Journalist Edna Purviance – Silent Movie Actress Colin Quinn – Comedian Robin Quivers – Radio Host Raffi – Children’s Musician Bonnie Raitt – Singer, Songwriter Joey Ramone – Musician Ayn Rand – Writer, Philosopher, Author A. Philip Randolph – Politician Jeanette Rankin – 1st Female US Representative Man Ray – Artist Rachel Ray – Celebrity Chef Lou Reed – Singer, Musician George Reeves – Actor Frances Reid – Actress Leni Riefenstahl – Filmmaker Janet Reno – Former U.S. Attorney-General Judith Resnick – Astronaut Jennifer Rhodes – Actress Condoleezza Rice – National Security Advisor Cliff Richards – Musician Miranda Richardson – Actress Alan Rickman – Actor, Director Elizabeth Riddell – Journalist Sally Ride – First American Female Astronaut Bridget Riley – Artist John Ringling – Founder of Ringling Brothers Circus Mary Roach - Author Morgan Andrew Robertson – Author Debbie Rochon – Actress Norman Perceval Rockwell – Illustrator Eric Rohmann – Author, Winner of the 2003 Caldecott Medal for Best Illustrated Children’s Book Ginger Rogers – Actress Richard Roeper – Film Reviewer, Chicago Sun-Times Wilhelm Rontgen – Awarded the first Nobel Prize for Physics in 1901, discoverer of X-Rays William Bruce Rose Jr. aka Axl Rose - Musician (Guns N' Roses) Mickey Rourke – Actor, Boxer Patricia Routledge – Actress Joan Ruddock – Activist John Ruskin – Author Winona Ryder – Actress Yves Saint-Laurent - Fashion Designer Dr. Lee Salk – Child Psychologist Renu Saluja – Indian Film Editor Diana Sands – Actress Aligi Sassu – Artist John Sayles – Director Jean-Paul Sartre – Existential Philosopher Diane Sawyer – TV News Anchor Rosika Schwimmer – Author, Activist Ed and Thelma Schoenberger – Co-founders of the Indiana Flower & Patio Show Ellen Browning Scripps – Newspaper Columnist, Philanthropist Joel Schumacher – Film Director Maurice Sendak – Children’s Book Author George Bernard Shaw – Playwright Lionel Shriver – Author Sarah Silverman – Comedian, Actress Michael Sinelnikoff – Actor Siouxsie – Singer, Musician (Siouxsie and the Banshees) Robert Smith – Singer, Musician (The Cure) David Shogren – Bassist (Doobie Brothers) Betty Smith – Author Dodie Smith – Playwright, Author of The Hundred and One Dalmatians Gladys Louise Smith aka Mary Pickford - Actress, Producer, Screenwriter, Businesswoman Howard Worth Smith – Politician Kate Smith – Singer Lemony Snicket (Real Name: Daniel Handler) – Children’s Book Author David Souter – Supreme Court Justice Jill St. John – Actress Mabel Stark – Female Tiger Trainer Gertrude Stein – Author, Patron of the Arts Victor Strauss – WWII Journalist Gloria Steinem – Activist, Writer Maria W. Stewart – Author, Activist Lily Strickland – Composer, Writer, Artist Patrick Swayze – Actor Loretta Swit – Actress Henrietta Szold – Holocaust Heroine Wislawa Szymborska – Nobel Prize Winning Poet Amy Tan - Writer, Author Sara Teasdale – Poet Toni Tennille – Singer (Captain and Tennille) Princess María Teresa of Bourbon-Parma – French-Spanish Political Activist and Academic Nikola Tesla – Scientist, Inventor Theodora – Empress and wife of Justinian I Susanna Thompson – Actress Georgianne Thon – Actress M. Carey Thomas – President of Bryn Mawr College Willie Mae Thornton – Singer, Songwriter Jennifer Tilly – Actress Wendy Tokunaga – Author Lily Tomlin – Actress, Playwright Ann Turkel – Model Randy Travis – Singer Edward Tylor – Anthropologist ----------------------------------------------------------------EDIT--------------------------------------------------------- Names "U - Z" will be in a comment below (the new additions put the list over the character limit).
2019.10.21 19:21 FamilyFowlYes, it does get better.
I was going to post this in response to this post, but my response was too long... https://www.reddit.com/DivorcedDads/comments/dkyd0o/its_been_a_while/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x There is definitely light. I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for the length, hopefully someone can find something in it to relate to that gives them hope. TLDR at the end. I'm 36, and have been divorced for 1.5 years also, but in the state I live, you have to be legally separated for a year before you can get a no-fault divorce. For an at-fault divorce (adultery, abuse, abandonment) it's 3 months separation. All said and done, due to court scheduling, our separation took 1.5 years. My ex-wife and I had dated all through college, with a couple of breakups sprinkled in. After I graduated, and while she was still taking classes, I proposed to her. Honestly, not because she felt like "the one," though we did enjoy each other's company, but mainly because I didn't think I had a decent reason to break up with her, and it felt like "shit or get off the pot" time. Yes, I've since learned that not being in love is reason to break up with someone. Our marriage was fine. No domestic violence, no substance abuse, no infidelity. I travel a lot for work, and keep my miles, so we were able to do some traveling. I earned enough to allow her the choice of working or not while she finished classes. Though she didn't finish- we wanted to have a child, and she decided to take a break from classes, since we were having difficulty keeping a pregnancy. She had 3 miscarriages, and many months of no pregnancy. Eventually, we went to a fertility specialist. We tried IUI twice, unsuccessfully. We tried IVF once unsuccessfully before it worked on the 2nd attempt. For anyone who has ever been through these treatments, you know how taxing they are, both physically on a woman, as well as emotionally and financially on both. I'm not saying I suffered nearly the amount she did through this, I'm just saying I was there with her, suffering as well, relatively powerless to do much to "fix it." But we did it, we had our son. We were elated. I cried like a baby when he was born. It was a C-section delivery, and I was the first non-medical staff to see and hold our son. I do feel like the struggle to have him made it that much more special. As mom recovered, I jumped into action to take care of everything. We both would say we handled the new roles well. Not only does my job require me to travel, but when I'm not traveling, I get to work from home, and my company was accommodating to reduce my travel in the months after our son's birth. So I was working from home but also helping with a newborn / infant. It was exhausting. All through it, my ex and I would fight occasionally. Never in front of the baby, only after he had gone to sleep. I don't know if it was our new roles that strained our relationship so much, or if our incompatibility just finally caught up with us. Maybe it was a combination of both. But one night, a couple of weeks before our son's 2nd birthday, we got into another argument. This one was just her absentness. I had a friend in town who was evacuating a storm, and we all were having a couple of drinks by the fire while baby slept. My ex, at one point, got up and went to the neighbor's house, as our neighborhood was constantly busy with nighttime parents getting together and having a few drinks in each other's driveways / garages. Time goes by and I text my ex, who doesn't respond. This goes on and on, which later, after she does come home, results in the arguing. Next morning, she avoids me. Lunch the next day, I go with my buddy to get food. As we're coming home, I see her driving the opposite direction. We get back to my place, and I notice specific things gone that surprised me. Our son's pillow. The baby monitor. I text my ex, asking what's going on. She doesn't respond, so I text again. Nothing. Eventually I ask if she's leaving me, to which she responds yes, claims it's a toxic relationship that she can no longer be a part of. She asked I leave the house, which I did (in hindsight, not the best legal decision). I was stunned and devastated at the idea that this was happening. At the time, I simply could not see a future that includes happiness. All I could see was me repeating the footsteps of my dad...a lengthy, expensive, divorce and custody battle that would weigh me down for decades after. Not being with my son every day. Being a "divorced dad," a label at the time that had only negative connotations in my mind. Well, let me tell you- 3 years later, I was wrong. Yes, there were some very low times. I didn't take care of myself for a while, though I was still a damn good dad, if I say so myself. It's the times I didn't have my son where I didn't take good care of myself. At first I was couch hopping for a few weeks, and then my grandmother offered a room. This was an ideal short term solution, as she lived close to my marital home, so I could have my son with me there when I had him, but it was not a long term solution. My fathered owned a rental house about 45 min from my marital home, and the tenant's lease was coming to an end, so that ended up being the home I made and still live in, at least until alimony is done. On alimony, in my state- when you've been married 10 years (or, 9 + 1 year separation...) Judges typically award alimony, even in no fault divorced, and especially so when the wife hasn't worked in years, and "expected to maintain the same standard of living." My hard work to provide my ex with the luxury of choice of being a SAHM or working had come back to bite me...hard. I did avoid a nasty legal fight, primarily because I had a good lawyer (funded by taking out a loan from my 401k...better to pay myself back than a financial institution) and I quickly came to terms that, in my conservative state, I was at a disadvantage from the start. My ex is a good mom (though, one could argue it's easier to be a good mom without the stress of work) and I knew the court was not in my favor. I'm a great dad, but this job that affords my ex with the luxury of being a SAHM? It also works against me. No way any family court in my state would award primary custody, hell not even straight 50-50 to a dad who sometimes travels as much as 3 weeks a month, Monday through Thursday night. Coming to terms with my new reality of not being with my son everyday I'm home was a challenge. I went to counseling, but again- I didn't take as good of care of myself as I should have. I let myself go, stop working out, drank too much beer. I wasn't getting trashed every day, I was just having more beers that was bad for my health and, overall, not a good coping mechanism. Anyways, let's hurry up and get to the part where it gets good. I say "gets good" but, in reality, there were still times before it "got good" that were awesome. I was really enjoying and taking pride in my parenting when I did have my son. I always enjoyed it before, but now it wasn't about my role as one of two parents. When I had him, it was about me as a single parent. Yes, it was HARD sometimes. I remember when I had my son for a week during July 4th at the beach with my dad and stepmom. My son was 2.5, and as much as I love my parents, I simply prefer my parenting style over theirs. So much so that I gladly took all initiative with my son. There was no pawning him off into them during that week so I could get more sleep, or just have time to recharge. Taking him to a decommissioned aircraft carrier during that week, it was sweltering hot. He wanted me to carry him nearly everywhere, which I did with all the enthusiasm one could muster during vacation week, precious prolonged time with my little dude. He even had an accident, and as I carried him through old, tight naval corridors to a restroom, pouring sweat, I quickly realized "of course there is no changing table on an aircraft carrier..." But I made the best of everything, because my new reality forced me to appreciate every single moment with him, regardless of how sweaty and shitty that moment was. I filled the week with memorable activities. We went to the aquarium together, the beach, all over. Just me and him. It was incredibly special, and I get teary eyed even describing it now. Good tears. My son always has, and always will, know how much I love him. I do get sad sometimes, missing him or knowing that he will grow up with two homes, not having his dad there with him every night. But I remind myself that was always going to be the case, given my line of work. I used to daydream about finding a different line of work that didn't have me on the road, but with divorce, that dream died. I could get another job, but in any other field, my compensation would be a fraction of what it is now, and I simply cannot afford alimony and child support with anything less. Right, the good part. So, the good part is that there were always good parts, but there comes a time when it gets REALLY good. It happened just before the divorce was finalized, I took my son to a Christmas parade that I had been invited to by a friend I ran into while having lunch with my dad. But this wasn't any normal Christmas parade, though I thought it was before leaving the house that Sunday morning. Let's rewind to the beginning of that weekend. I had a holiday-filled weekend planned out for me and my son, about a week before Christmas. Friday I would pick him up and go to a pajama-themed showing of The Polar Express, where parents and children go to the theater in their PJs, get hot chocolate, and watch the movie. But when it came time to pick him up, I had to rush home so he could have dinner before going to the movie. We did that, and headed to the theater, arriving just in time. But this showing was cash-only, and all I had were cards. The worker pointed to an ATM several blocks away, so I rushed out the door, carrying my 3 year old, running down the street to get cash out of the ATM, then ran back with him in my arms. I really didn't want to be late for this showing. I wanted our holiday-themed weekend to be perfect. Luckily, the lady behind the counter was kind enough to wait for us before starting the movie. I was incredibly grateful. My son loved the movie, and it was all-around an otherwise great experience. Saturday came, and my son helped me decorate my Charlie Brown-esque tree before going to the local mall to meet Santa. Then, Sunday rolls around. My son is an EARLY riser, and I had gotten barely any sleep all weekend, so I'm exhausted. I toyed with the idea of not going to the parade, and just doing other stuff with my son around the house. But eventually, I mustered up the energy and motivation to finish off the weekend with the vigor with which it started. I get him ready and we get in the car and make the 20 minute drive to the middle of nowhere. My phone's map showed our destination that looked like the middle of a multi-acre field, and sure enough, that's exactly what it was, with a single road that leads through the 'town' where the parade was being held. The town was lucky to have a single stop-light. And while the town was small, the gathering for the parade was anything but small. There has to be at least 20k people there. So, we found a place to park and started walking towards what I assumed to be the main route for the parade, scheduled to begin about an hour later. I had no idea where my friend's parade-watching tailgate was setup, and my phone had no signal due to this being the middle of nowhere and the influx of other devices now in the area. Plus, my son really wanted me to carry him, so I did. Exhausted, I walk through the crowd along the route, looking for anyone I know. Luckily, my friend saw me and called my name. She and her boyfriend had setup with a crowd of their friends, a few of which had children of their own playing nearby, away from the road. So, I introduced myself and Sawyer to my friends' group before letting him go play with the other kids. Immediately once he was doing his thing, I saw her. A mutual friend of my friends. I'll call her C. I was absolutely smitten from the moment I saw her. I remember thinking "wow…there's no way she's single, right? OK, who is she here with?" surveying the group as small talk ensues. Our mutual friend talks about having seen me at a recent performance of Evil Dead: The Musical (which was as awesome as it sounds). In response, I tell the group how much I had enjoyed it, and how I'm a huge horror fan. This apparently got C's attention. While our small talk as a group may have included some specific banter between her and myself, I cannot remember specifically. I was too busy trying to figure out who she was there with, and if single, how can I find a natural opportunity to talk with her one-on-one, all the while frequently checking on my son, breaking with the group occasionally to do things with him. I was able to surmise that she was not attending with a guy, but rather than older lady friend of hers, so I figured that boded well for an opportunity to talk one-on-one with her. As we took our seats on the parade route, I wanted to conveniently sit next to her, but had to settle for one seat away with my son on my knee, our mutual friend between us. But that still gave us plenty of opportunities to be in earshot of each other's friendly banter. At times, it seemed like I was the only one laughing at her jokes, and vice versa. And they were not forced laughs, this was genuine. She was hilarious, it just seemed to be a sense of humor that others didn't seem to get. I remember specifically she commented "all I see are floating heads everywhere!" and immediately I laughed, recognizing it to be a commentary on the amount of camouflage being worn to this event. To be clear, this was one hilariously random and strange parade. There were haunted-hayride themed floats with people dressed as monsters. There was a man dressed as a woman on the back of a truck in a vaguely transphobic beauty pageant float, and as parade participants threw out the typical candies to children, there were other things thrown out as well. Ziploc bags with cake, and even those with a single chicken-wing in each bag were among the favors thrown from the floats. Finally, the parade ended, and we all said our goodbyes. C's friend hadn't left her side the entire time, and I never mustered up the courage to strike up one-on-two conversation. I knew I could talk with her, just the two of us, but the awkwardness of trying to get to know C with her friend with her, before asking if she was seeing anyone and, if not, if we could exchange numbers, was too big of a hurdle to jump. So my son and I walked back to my car, and after getting him in his seat, I got into the driver's seat. I waited to pull the car out as a row of people walked by the car. That's when I see her, C with her friend, walking towards my car, and then passes the driver's side without noticing me. Immediately I pull my phone out and text our mutual friend "Hey, thanks for inviting us, we had a great time! Btw, is your friend C seeing anyone?" before driving away and headed home. About half an hour later, our mutual friend responds "No, she's not! Do you want me to give her your number?" to which I quickly responded "Yes, please!" Not even 5 minutes goes by before she responds "OK, here's her number __________, but she said she's going into a movie so she said she probably won't be able to respond until after." That sort of response, and how quickly it came, put me on cloud 9. I was leaving the next morning to go out of town for work for the week, but we began texting, getting to know each other along with our plan to go to dinner as soon as I returned. Apparently, the whole time I was noticing her, she was noticing me. She told me how she thought to herself "no way this guy is single" even before our recognition for shared interests and sense of humor. She said she was encouraged when she saw no ring, and here's a part that should give you hope…apparently, how I was with my son was a BIG plus for her. When you're our age, and you're a parent, being a good dad to your child(ren) attracts the right kind of people to your orbit. We texted constantly the entire week, to the point where when we met for dinner, it really felt like we already knew each other. She was incredible. She was literally everything I've ever wanted in a woman, and thought I would never find. Afterall, before that, I was married. I had resigned myself to a life of quiet desperation, happy as a father, but unfulfilled in love. We fell in love in a way that made me realize I had never known how great love can be. Sure, we were infatuated with each other, but we both could tell this was sustainable and deep. We shared the same values, politically, religiously, and philosophically. Hell, the fact she prioritized those sort of values in life, seeking out the most difficult questions in life, was so exciting to me. I do not like to talk ill of my ex, because she is the mother of my child, but we were just very different in that regard. C and myself found ourselves saying what the other was thinking, constantly. Hell, even our names are derivative of the same name. I joked in the early days about the episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry meets Janeane Garofalo, and they became infatuated with each other so quickly only for Jerry to realize he can't be with someone just like himself, because he hates himself (cue laugh track). But that moment never came for us. Six months after meeting C, I proposed to her. Now, I know what you may be thinking "wooooah, chief. You jumped back in that quickly after divorce?" Trust me, I heard it all. I thought it all before ever being told that by others. But at the end of the day, I was more certain of proposing to her than I had been anything my entire life. She was, and is, my dream woman. She's a therapist who specializing in adolescent counseling, and before that was a teacher in a special-needs pre-school. We are married, and she's an incredible stepmother to my son, who is crazy about her. You may or may not be wondering, what about the ex? Why did she want out? Surely there must have been more to it that's being omitted?" To that I will say, before the divorce was finalized, we had a conversation of closure. There were tears. Not tears of regret, but simply bittersweet tears that can come with closing any chapter in life. She shared a revelation to me that explained everything, and gave me the closure I needed, as well. I won't share what that revelation was, out of respect for privacy. At the end of the day, though I do pay more than I feel is right, I pay what I agreed to. Early in the process, someone told me the line "know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it." They were right. But most importantly, through it all (and ESPECIALLY if children are involved) I picked up a simple and effective self-motto; "Be Kind." I don't always succeed at it, but I try to live every day with that motto ringing in my ears. I even have a shirt that has those two simple words on it that, when I wear it, serves as a reminder to myself that I need to live it, else reveal myself to be a jerk AND a hypocrite. It's also the central tenet by which I raise my son, and it shows in the person he is and continues to grow into. He's the most kind, empathetic, considerate child I've ever known, and that's not just my self-admitted bias- others have told me the same. Now, I also realize that some divorced dads may read this story, and the response may be bitterness, jealousy, or envy, and I would completely understand that reaction. I've been in that position before, even if only momentarily. My only response to such a reaction is that I hope you believe me when I say my motivation for sharing this is two-fold; for anyone else who, like OP, asks "does it get better?" as well as myself, because I've always felt writing it out, sharing with others, can be incredibly therapeutic. If my story can, at best serve as a source of hope or at worst a momentary distraction from anxiety and/or depression, to even one person, then it is worth it. I'll close out this incredibly long post with my favorite verse from my favorite band. Well, I ain't often right but I've never been wrong Seldom turns out the way it does in a song Once in a while you get shown the light In the strangest of places if you look at it right TLDR; I was in a marriage with someone I was not in love with, ex-wife surprised me by wanting a divorce. The world I had created for myself fell apart around me, I felt powerless, and felt like my best trait, being a dad, was being taken from me. Eventually, I came out the other side, realized I'm in control for the dad I want to be to my son, and stumbled into meeting the woman of my dreams, whom I'm now married to. Also, Be Kind.
2019.10.11 07:22 NatalieNormanComedyComedy Album Recording Jen Sakato and Gavin Stephens
On October 24 & 25 Howl & Roar is excited to present the album recording of Gavin Stephens and the ep recording of Jen Sakato ! Tickets here .... https://www.eventbrite.com/o/howl-amp-roar-records-18083898337?fbclid=IwAR0dlt_m6paB7Zhmnn19edLIpn8JB3MYRw4L3uIZIssy7PSwaIAN7lhSiK0 The shows are happening on Thursday, October 24: Doors at 7pm Friday, October 25 : Doors at 7 pm Location - The Ossington - 61 Ossington Ave ! Tickets are $10 and can be bought via ticket link ! Get them before they are gone About the comedians Gavin Stephens Gavin Stephens is a stand-up comedian and #blerd who skillfully balances playful irony and morbid silliness; he is known for his (really) quick wit and stream of consciousness comedic style.Gavin has been featured in Montreal, & Toronto’s Just For Laughs Festivals. As well as the Cape Town Comedy fest, and Austin’s SXSW, alongside comedy legends Margaret Cho, Janeane Garofalo, Andy Kindler, Reggie Watts, Hannibal Buress and Marc Maron. He has been named one of the “10 Funniest Canadians” by StarTV and chosen as “Best Local Stand-up Comic” in NOW Magazine’s Readers Choice poll. He’s appeared on CTV and the Comedy Network in The Buzz, Comedy Inc., and on CBC’s Debaters and The Baroness Von Sketch Show When he’s not performing or hosting the Master Race Debaiters podcast, he can be found practicing his knitting or cheering on the Raptors. His perfect day includes watching cartoons, reading comic books and watching indie wrestling. Jen Sakato Jen Sakato is an up-and-coming comic from Toronto. She regularly performs at the Underground Comedy Club, the Corner Comedy Club and Absolute Comedy. She has performed across Canada, Asia and at the San Diego Comedy Festival. Her commentary on being mixed-race, dating and life makes her an easy crowd favorite. About Howl & Roar Howl & Roar is a female-centric comedy record label that empowers artists and facilitates in the creation of content. Understanding the difficulties artists face with distribution and navigating the many paths content can take, Howl & Roar Records strives to be a trusted resource for artists. Based in Toronto, Howl & Roar Records was born out of a desire to make the comedy album world more reflective of the diversity in the industry. Headed by Sirius XM radio host and former comedian, Allison Dore, Howl & Roar understands artists unique perspectives and amplifies voices in entertainment.
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program capacitor Giovannyport Intelligent Soft Sausages Awesome Soap Assimilated ecocentric meme gaming machinima rooster teeth red vs blue filmmaking Jose Runolfsson meme lavender protocol quantify protocol North Houstonchester Small Steel Pants Generic Sausages Focused transitional meme fail man nude naked la redoute laredoute redoute photoshop fashion french france commercial advertisement pr corporate public relations exploitable Mrs Dino Boyle meme green feed parse feed North Allan Sleek Cotton Mouse Sleek Chicken Progressive impactful meme miss congeniality mock holiday april 25th the perfect date light jacket day beauty pageant movie movie references sandra bullock Onie Langosh meme teal capacitor calculate capacitor Heathcotetown Incredible Granite Pants Generic Keyboard Frontline userfacing meme catchphrase 4chan cake this is delicious cake you must eat it Koby Schamberger meme pink protocol index protocol Aurorestad Gorgeous Cotton Tuna Awesome Computer Rightsized attitudeoriented meme films film theory frame by frame matpat did you know movies film theories Eric Lehner meme pink alarm transmit alarm New Elda Unbranded Frozen Keyboard Intelligent Computer Adaptive composite meme film television director surreal Christopher Rohan I meme olive sensor back up sensor Hagenesbury Fantastic Soft Bike Handcrafted Chips Functionbased national meme youtube fat girl katie12231 katie122311 katiethesinger123 mrsamazingkatie Neha Schultz meme cyan capacitor calculate capacitor Naderfurt Generic Frozen Shirt Unbranded Bike Grassroots cohesive meme gucci rapper trap rap music Jamie Grimes meme gold feed calculate feed North Irwin Incredible Wooden Bike Small Chicken Customerfocused global meme mob psycho one punch man Carlie West meme salmon panel compress panel North Moriahchester Unbranded Soft Chicken Sleek Cheese Operative intangible meme sheet tools exploitable image macro 4chan participatory game Jack Lynch meme tan system copy system Kileyberg Handcrafted Fresh Tuna Unbranded Hat Visionary intangible meme remix copypasta 90s fresh prince will smith Emmy Ernser meme tan array synthesize array South Vivien Rustic Granite Pizza Sleek Ball Enterprisewide modular meme twitter racism murder hashtag Alice Braun II meme green bandwidth index bandwidth West Haleighborough Licensed Fresh Gloves Tasty Chicken Organized national meme chip hot chip snack challenge dare food Donny Berge meme black firewall synthesize firewall Johnnietown Incredible Fresh Bike Refined Soap Teamoriented clientdriven meme none Corine Hand meme teal port override port North Gideonside Practical Granite Tuna Intelligent Chips Monitored 3rd generation meme japan nonenglish yaoi pixiv public service announcement anti piracy nico nico seiga niconico -
2018.07.29 07:47 TheGarofaholicIn 1997 while filming the movie "Clay Pigeons" Janeane Garofalo got a extra fired for talking to her seconds before a scene was set to be shot. Turns out, she got the wrong guy fired.
A friend of mine in Utah along with his best friend Brook worked as extras on the set of the movie Clay Pigeons. Here's what he had to say when I asked him if he got to meet our Janeane. She got me blacklisted by one of the VERY few casting people here!!!! His name is Chris Hansen, here's the story. Brook & I were on the set as extras. I also drove the Chrysler in the establishing bar scene. The guy who gets out, walks around, gets his date, and goes up the stairs? That's me. Anyhow, Brook & I were inside the bar. He was thrilled to be in there with Janeane Garofalo. I'd never heard of her. She was concentrating, staying in character, because on ACTION, she was supposed to run out of the bar, upset about something. Well, during the wait, Brook said "Hey, i liked the work you did on Dr. Katz. How'd you do that?" she looked up at him VERY SLOWLY, and said nastily "You're talking to me about Dr. Katz, RIGHT NOW!??" Man, I'm glad I wasn't brook, she was giving him one heck of an "eat shit" look, Brook said "I'm sorry", she replied, very slowly, "In Dr. Katz, we sat in a studio, and they recorded our voices." Then she looked back down, concentrating on getting back into character. next thing you know, I don't hear from Chris Hansen any more. My agent says it's because I BOTHERED THE TALENT. Oh, I was pissed, I told Brook. Apparently what happened was that she complained that "the guy with the beard" had disturbed her inside the bar set. I have a full beard, Brook has a little goatee. Dammit, I've never even HEARD of her!!!!! Anyhow, Brook called Chris. I called Chris. He won't return my phone calls. Brook & I were driving around. I called him from the cell phone. He CALLED BACK! when he heard it was ME, he asked to speak to brook. He told Brook that he'd been trying to call him (Brook) to be a featured extra!! So, I'm blacklisted because of Brook. Chris Hansen didn't believe that HE was the person who bothered J.G. chris probably thinks that brook was trying to cover for me. that really pissed me off, guilt by association. I'd never heard of her, and i never would've known she was anyone, except that brook said she was on some goddamn cartoon. The only thing I noted was that her hair coloring was horrible, no highlights whatsoever looks like someone dipped her head in a bucket of Indian ink. But dammit, now Chris will NEVER call me back, because he thinks I don't know set etiquette, he thinks I disturbed J.G. and when you're blacklisted by one, the word spreads. This is just great. Chris Hansen does the casting for a lot of movies out here, and now that's one bridge that was burned behind me and I didn't do a goddamn thing. A victim of circumstance!!! Heh, I'm still pissed.
It was around 1993 and it was in North Hollywood, DL lived there and I remember I was just trying to start being an open mike comedian, and I remember seeing his name on the ticket and knew he was blowing up as a comedian. I went to his house and recognized him. And then a couple years later at a comedy show he saw me and remembered me, an said oh shit its the pizza man! PS here's another side note I worked for a lot of comedians, I was a maid at janeane garofalo's house and cleaned it a few times. I thought if i couldn't be these comedians I could get better by delivering them food at cleaning their houses.
The man is a legend, he's also in better shape than I am. There were times when I would look at him across the african sun, and i wouldn't see micharl gross the actor, but america's fav father who raised me in the 80s
First of all you are doing what we call assuming, and when you assume you make an ass out of U. I never drink at a show, I was probably exhausted from flying across the country and doing press all day for the show. Don't judge.
We thought we had something different and unique, and we thought if we could just be a hit on video that would be awesome. Did we know that it would be a phenom? No. I don't think Randy should have died because he never had sex... if he did no one told me.
2016.01.05 06:25 GreatestOfAllTime96All the movies I watched in 2015
Movies of 2015 I did this in 2014 and no one cared so I'm doing one again because I hate myself. If you don't want to read the whole thing, here's my top 10 for the year: Top 10 released in 2015:
The Hateful Eight
Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl
The End of the Tour
Diary of a Teenage Girl
And now, the bulk of the post, split into multiple sections because of character limits. This is a list of all the movies I watched in 2015 in chronological order. Paired with each movie is a rating and some thoughts. I started doing this in 2014 for fun and now it’s something I plan to do for every year in the foreseeable future. In 2014 I watched 92 movies and this year I watched 124. For 2016 I hope to reach around 150 and my goal is to watch more old films since I rarely go back further than the 70s. If you end up reading this then you can read the whole thing or just scroll down to find movies you’ve heard of (or the highest rated ones). The quality of writing in this is pretty bad because I’m not spending too much time on each film but rather just doing a quick overview. Also I’m doing very little revising after I just vomit the words onto the page. The longer I write, the more fatigued I get too so see if you can pick out the ones I wrote when I was tired. Excuses, excuses. Anyway, thanks for reading and I’ll possibly/probably be doing more of these in the near future. tl;dr: There’s a top 10 of the year at the top and bottom if you just want some quick recommendations. Movies marked with an asterisk were seen in the theater.
The Babadook: 6/10 – This Australian horror film was praised for being a return to form for the horror genre and caused quite the buzz online among film forums. I liked it when I first saw it but on subsequent watches I didn’t enjoy it as much and actually found it pretty average. But with some terrifying moments and a very tense atmosphere, it’s still worth seeing if you’re a fan of horror.
Paranormal Activity 5: 3.5/10 – Yet another mediocre installment of the Paranormal Activity series. The first PA was a masterpiece of low-budget modern horror and revolutionized the genre in the same way Blair Witch did. Unfortunately, the rest of the series was no such masterpiece. If I were to rate them I would go: 1, 3, 2, 5, 4. PA4 was TERRIBLE. I don’t recommend unless you’re bored at a sleepover or something.
Nightcrawler: 7/10 – This was getting a lot of buzz in late 2014 and I was lucky enough to get my hands on a Screener copy meant for the academy awards. This was one of the sleeper hits of 2014 and it really showcased Jake Gyllenhaal as a great actor. If you enjoyed Taxi Driver, American Psycho, and Drive (2011) then you’ll probably like this one. A true recommendation.
American Sniper: 6/10 – Clint Eastwood’s newest movie, this one got a lot of flak for being an “American Propaganda” film. I, however, didn’t feel like it was propaganda. A lot of people criticized it for its negative portrayal of Middle Eastern people but those people probably don’t know anyone in the military. Coming from a Navy town, the negative sentiment towards Middle Easterns is how a lot of people in the military think and not just Eastwood trying to be anti-Muslim. I felt it was actually an anti-war film since it basically has the theme of “war follows you home” what with the PTSD experienced by Chris Kyle.
Birdman: 9/10 – I loved this movie. I LOVED this movie. Michael Keaton killed it and Alejandro Iñárritu showed off his directing chops with this theatrical surrealist film. If you haven’t seen this yet then do yourself a favor and watch it. The Academy isn’t great but at least they got this one right with Best Picture. Watch it.
The Road to El Dorado: 7/10 – One of my favorite animated movies and one I have a deep nostalgia for. This was one of those traditional animation films from the late 90s/early 2000s alongside Disney’s Atlantis that didn’t do well in the box office but would go on to become a sort of cult classic.
Whiplash: 8/10 – After starring in the mediocre Divergent movies Miles Teller received his breakout role as Andrew Neiman in Whiplash. The real star of this movie, however, is J.K. Simmons who puts in an award-winning, powerhouse performance. If you haven’t seen this movie yet then you’re missing out. It also contains one of the greatest climax scenes in film history that will make you jump out of your seat with excitement (maybe that’s just me).
Inherent Vice*: 8/10 – Paul Thomas Anderson is one of those directors whose films guarantee a good time. Other directors like this include Wes Anderson, the Coen Brothers and Quentin Tarantino. Inherent Vice is no exception. Adapted from the Thomas Pynchon novel of the same name, this movie takes place in 1970 Southern California. It really captures the end of the hippy era and a time when the future was relatively complicated and uncertain. It’s a somewhat neo-noir film like The Big Lebowski where there are many intersecting motivations and character arcs that influence you to try and piece together the story. If you’re a fan of Paul Thomas Anderson (and you should be since he’s one of the best directors working today) then I would tell you to drop whatever you’re doing and watch this right now. You won’t regret it (although you might want to watch it twice since it is IMMENSELY confusing the first time).
There Will Be Blood: 10/10 – Another Paul Thomas Anderson movie and arguably one of the greatest films of all time. This is what I consider a perfect movie. Daniel Day Lewis puts forth a legendary performance and secures his place as one of the best actors of all time. This is pretty much required viewing at this point.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: 7.5/10 – I watch this a few times a year and I think it’s my favorite Wes Anderson movie (although Grand Budapest is pretty great too). Bill Murray plays Steve Zissou, a Jacques Cousteau-esque character who is washed up after the death of his friend and partner Esteban. He vows to find the shark that ate him and kill it. This gets a definite recommendation from me as it is one of the most accessible Wes Anderson films.
The Mist: 6/10 – Adapted from a Steven King novel, this is truly a terrifying movie about a town enveloped by a mist that contains weird, murderous, otherworldly creatures. The CGI is a bit dated but the story is legitimately scary. Funny story actually, my mom took me to see this when I was like 11 and she apologized to me after it was over because of how disturbing it was.
Project Almanac*: 2/10 – This movie sucked.
Punch-Drunk Love: 7/10 – This Paul Thomas Anderson movie is probably one of his worst, which means it’s still pretty good. Adam Sandler gives a surprisingly great performance in this simple love story between a plunger salesman and a pretty girl. I need to watch this a second time.
The Master: 9/10 – Paul Thomas Anderson you magnificent bastard. This movie starring Joaquin Phoenix and Phillip Seymour Hoffman (RIP) is a sort of criticism of Scientology that crosses over into the realm of surrealism. The Master is truly a mind-fuck and a masterpiece of a film in every sense. Might take a couple watches to “get it.”
Wild: 6/10 – Reese Witherspoon stars in this adaptation of the novel of the same name by Cheryl Strayed about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. It was pretty okay and it gave me some serious wanderlust.
The Big Lebowski: 9/10 – One of my favorite movies, Jeff Bridges stars in this late 90s Coen Brothers movie about a chill Dude who gets thrust into a plot far bigger and more complicated than himself. With a supporting cast of John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Julianne Moore, this film is a tried and true classic.
Foxcatcher*: 5/10 – This movie received a ton of praise and the only reason I can think of is Steve Carell’s performance. It’s true that Carell was almost unrecognizable in this but the plot was so slow and meandering that it was an absolute chore to get through. I don’t recommend this one.
Boyhood: 6/10 – DID YOU KNOW THAT IT TOOK 12 YEARS TO MAKE??? Of all the overrated movies, this is one of them. I can’t fucking believe that this got a nomination for best picture. With a bland “story” where nothing happens and an awful performance from everyone but Ethan Hawke, Boyhood is a true disappointment. Although it was a feat to make this over 12 years, it’s nothing more than a gimmick to me. The best thing about this was Vampire Weekend and Arcade Fire on the soundtrack.
My Dinner with Andre: 9/10 – Wallace Shawn (INCONCEIVABLE) and Andre Gregory (famous theatre director) haven’t seen each other in five years and agree to sit down for a meal together. The result is literally two hours of them having a conversation. It is a movie devoid of all clichés and it is heartwarming as it is charming. I would definitely recommend this to fans of theatre since that’s how it resonated the most with me.
Cinderella (2014)*: 5/10 – Another needless live-action reboot of a fairytale. The costumes were really good at least.
The Imitation Game: 6.5/10 – Blueberry Cucumberbelt gave a great performance as Alan Turing but this was still pretty Oscar-baity. I enjoyed it though.
Annie Hall: 10/10 – One of my favorite movies of all time, Woody Allen’s Annie Hall is regarded as one of his best alongside Manhattan and Hannah and Her Sisters. I don’t even know how to describe this film other than charming and overall just a masterpiece of cinema. Watch it if you haven’t.
The Grand Budapest Hotel: 9/10 – Wes Anderson’s most Wes Anderson-y film to date. Probably his best. Of course I’m going to recommend it.
Chef: 7/10 – An all around feel good movie. There was no real conflict in this at all, which surprisingly wasn’t a bad thing. Don’t watch this movie while hungry or you will die.
Insurgent*: 4/10 – Stop adapting shitty young adult dystopian novels into movies please. This shit is cliché as hell.
The Captive: 4/10 – A movie with Ryan Reynolds that I didn’t want to watch. My expectations were correct and this movie was not very good at all.
World’s Greatest Dad: 6/10 – Robin Williams plays a dad whose son accidentally kills himself. Williams forges a suicide note to spare his son the embarrassment but the lie spins out of control. A pretty okay movie. RIP Robin Williams.
Get Hard*: 5/10 – Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart. Meh. I laughed a few times.
It’s Such a Beautiful Day: 7/10 – This is an animated film by Don Hertzfeldt who you may know as the creator of Rejected (https://youtu.be/MuOvqeABHvQ). This movie is on netflix and it’s pretty surreal and depressing. I recommend it if you’re having a good day and want to get all sad and introspective before crying yourself to sleep.
Kingsman: The Secret Service: 7.5/10 – A real surprise this year. A pretty good R-rated spy movie with Samuel L. Jackson and some British people. One scene in particular stands out as truly great (if you’ve seen it you know which one).
The Great Mouse Detective: 7/10 – An old Disney classic about Basil of Baker Street (aka Sherlock Holmes: mouse edition). A classic.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: 8/10 – One of the best comedies of all time in my opinion. It’s the perfect movie for after a break up or just when you’re feeling a bit down (or any other time really). Jason Segel and Mila Kunis kill it while Paul Rudd offers up some seriously quotable lines like, “When life gives you lemons, just say fuck it and bail.”
Get Him to the Greek: 7.5/10 – One of those comedies you can watch over and over again. There are some seriously great moments in this movie like TJ Miller dealing drugs to Jonah Hill, the Vegas party, and the Today show bit. Russel Brand is especially great.
A Serious Man: 8/10 – The Coen brothers are true geniuses and this film is no exception. Mirroring the story of Job from the Bible, this film follows a Jewish man as a series of terrible things happen to him. Highly recommended.
The Last of the Unjust: 7/10 – At over three and a half hours, this Holocaust documentary is a spiritual sequel to Shoah, the ten hour documentary by the same director (Claude Lanzmann). A very important documentary but a very difficult one to get through.
Avengers: Age of Ultron*: 6/10 –Joss Wedon is good at writing snappy, humorous dialogue but when there’s supposed to be a real threat like Ultron, all that does is kill any possible tension. Marvel movies are usually great but this was the weakest in a while.
It Follows*: 8/10 – This was a real surprise. I had heard great things about this movie but finally seeing it was on another level of fucking amazing. The soundtrack is killer, the premise is great, and it’s a completely solid horror movie. If you enjoy horror then do not miss this movie.
Ex Machina*: 8/10 – I knew nothing about this going in and I preferred it that way. Basically Oscar Isaac and Domnhall Gleeson (both rising stars) lead this amazing science fiction/drama film about AI and robotics. One of the best of the year.
Wet Hot American Summer: 7.5/10 – I can’t believe I didn’t see this movie until now. Paul Rudd, Jon Benjamin, Bradley Cooper, Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, Janeane Garofalo, Amy Poehler, and Elizabeth Banks also star in this movie.
Clouds of Sils Maria*: 6/10 – A real indie film. Kristen Stewart really showcases her acting ability here with a believable and honest performance. Chloe Grace Moretz also kills it. Recommended if you’re a hipster fuck who likes art house movies like me.
Knocked Up: 7/10 - Can’t believe I didn’t see this until now. Great movie. Everyone knows this.
Mad Max: Fury Road*: 8/10 – When I first watched this I didn’t really like it. It had so much online buzz as this huge movie that could be the best of the year. I guess my expectations were too high but I was really disappointed. On subsequent watches, however, I realized why the movie was so praised. The art direction of the film is amazing, the sound design is spectacular, and the camerawork is seriously impressive. When you’re watching it just think about how they got each shot. It will blow your mind.
Ouija: 3/10 – This movie is ass.
Jurassic Park: 9/10 – It’s Jurassic Park you know it’s good.
Poltergeist (2015)*: 3/10 – This movie was awful and the original definitely didn’t need to be remade. Sam Rockwell was the only redeeming quality of this movie but even he couldn’t save it.
Well, it's true that they should be more discerning with their choices, but that being said I know many of the folks there and I did pitch them the idea hoping they wou;d steer to a label that might do it and instead, they agreed to do it so I'm not totally to blame. That also being said, I'm very happy they did it and that they believed in the message
Well, there was no preparation involved. we set it up where the trio would play and I would just try and keep up to capture that improv spirit that eptomized jazz and if you listen to all the songs in order (i don't recommend it) you can hear me getting progressively better. I actually think I can't play Piano part 4, i am not all bad.
Well coach mcGuirk was a pretty sad character if you applied any reality to it. I guess Bob seems pretty happy most of the time. I wonder how Jason from Home Movies has aged. maybe him. i feel like he works in Silicon Vally now and makes a ton of money at some tech company.
He is very nice and the show was fun do to except for the scenes with the biohazard suits, since my fan was not working- there was a fan inside the suit. But, now, at least I can empathize with Disney mascots.
2015.09.19 02:44 DailyShowTorrentWorking on complete archive of Jon Stewart's time on The Daily Show (torrent), missing 71 episodes, can you help?
I've got the vast majority of Daily Show episodes to share but I am short 71 episodes. I'm posting the full list here in the hope that someone out there has some or all of them so I can compile a full archive of Jon's time on the show and share it with you all.
Wes took a sip from his Bud Light and looked around the bar for some sweet poon tang. He knew he was looking absolutely desirable in his two hundred dollar Hollister skinny jeans with multiple tears in all of the right places with white paint stained all over them. Wes knew there was nothing women desired more than a man who looked like he did rough and gritty work, but had the feminine soft hands that proved he didn’t get too dirty. Wes also had an Abercrombie and Fitch shirt that resembled Jerry Seinfeld’s puffy pirate shirt. It didn’t look great at all, but it was seventy dollars at the register and Wes knew that’s all that mattered. On Wes’ head he was wearing a visor he had found at American Eagle. It looked worn and tattered and cost thirty bucks. Wes knew by the end of the night, it would be on the bedpost of a girl who had a slight obsession with Channing Tatum five years ago. Wes had considered buying an actual hat at American Eagle, but then he couldn’t style his hair with Axe hair paste to look like a douchey privileged version of Kramer from Seinfeld. Wes’ eyes were directed over to the right side of the bar, he saw an attractive blonde with a rack worthy of pressing against a car window in a wet t-shirt. Wes visualized how the night would go if he brought her back to his place and was boning her on his leather couch. He imagined what her sweat would smell like mixed with the new car smell of pleather. After he played it out, visualing it from every angle and inspecting it for any flaw like a perverted Stanley Kubrick, he decided that she would be just right. Wes began making his way towards her. Once Wes got closer, he noticed the shirt she was wearing and cringed. On the front was Olaf, the snowman from Frozen. Wes began to shiver and shake like Michael J Fox on a cold windy Chicago morning while making his way back. Wes assumed this was a girl who filled the holes that were her daddy issues with Disney princess films. In his head, Wes could see this girl at Halloween parties over the years dressing like Cinderella and her date as Prince Charming, or as Belle from Beauty and the Beast and her date of course being The Beast. Wes visualized the Halloween party he would have to go to with this empty and hollow woman. He dressed as The Beast as he looked around the party at other guys dressed as Disney princes with their girlfriends hoping to get a piece of ass in a room only lit by candlelight inside of a Jack O’Lantern. Wes visualized fucking this girl dressed as The Beast. He of course wearing the costume during sex. He also imagined multiple guys over the years wearing the same exact costume giving it to this girl. She of course only dating men who could fit into the costume. Wes now visualized the costume hanging near the girl’s bed and her getting prepared for Halloween night, where a new suitor would ravish her privates as she wondered if his privates and seed would fill the hole that her father had dug into her soul after picking a hefty work schedule with a voluptuous secretary over spending time with his little girl. Adult girls who had a thing for Disney made Wes cringe more than a pedophile around pubic hair. Wes scanned the bar once more with a hurried desperation looking for a girl to plow like a coked up farmer. He visualized himself as the Terminator, scanning girls for possible daddy issues or ones who weren’t here to hook up but were looking for love and commitment. Love and commitment in Wes’ eyes was the vile imaginative aspects of life that were programmed into gullible women who dropped their walls of sanity to the works of Nicholas Sparks. Love and commitment in this day and age made about as much sense as an over bearing entity who commanded a man circumsize his son and a magical being who could walk on water and turn water into wine, like a low budget Criss Angel or David Blaine. Wes continued to scan the bar with a rushed aggressive glance. It was on the third look over that he realized he had passed by a busty blonde who was physically twin like with the Disney fan girl. The improvement regarding this bombshell was that she wore clothing from the same stores Wes shopped at. She was probably used to a man who bathed in cologne, hopefully that didn’t mean she had slept with a Persian. Wes swallowed vomit at the thought of this woman being tainted by a Persian who probably worked out during the graveyard shift and wore all Puma. Wes walked up to the blonde and leaned on the bar as he smirked at her. “Hey, we shop in the same section of the mall. Wanna go back to my place?” The girl looked into Wes’ eyes with a look of thought and concentration. “Did you have a ridiculous fascination with the film 300 in high school?” Wes rolled his eyes. “Psh of course! Every workout I do up in the fucking gym is Spartan approved babe.” Wes followed this comment up by doing a double biceps pose and then bringing his arms down to puff his chest out. They were the only two body parts he worked on. “In middle school did you want to be Duke Nukem?” “Of course!” “Have you ever raped a girl and celebrated by going home and watching Entourage.” Wes leaned in so what he said would be a whisper. “While smelling my fingers as I watched an entire season in one sitting.” “Ok you can defile me.” The busty blonde downed her martini and began to make her way to the door. Wes thought about making a comment about how she should save that to drink after he cums in her mouth, but thought it was better to make jokes in such bad taste after he got his sweet American pie. After Wes ejaculated on the girl’s back, he tossed her a used towel from earlier to wipe herself off. He’s huffing and puffing while laughing to himself like a runner who had won an impossible race. “Wow, that was more acrobatic than what they make those Chinese kids do to decide if their parents live.” “It was ok.” Replied the busty blonde. She then glanced at the ground and saw something that made her heart do back flips. “Oh my god is that a condom?” Wes looked at it with a look as if he was recalling a long lost memory and laughed. “O yeah, I took it off right before I penetrated you.” The girl looked at him like she had just used aftershave for the first time. “What?” said Wes, shrugging his shoulders. “Gonorrhea is still treatable right?” “So are you going to eat me out or what?” Wes looked at the busty blonde like she had just reached into a jar full of leeches, grabbed a fistful and shoved said fist into her vagina. “Huh?” The busty blonde shook her head, as if to shake off an outburst of anger. “I said are you going to eat me out? My pussy feels like a fire!” Wes glared at her. “Well then maybe you should go make some s’mores.” The girl gave Wes a surprised laugh. “I’d prefer your tongue.” Wes frowned. “I don’t exactly do that sort of thing.” The girl looked at him as her jaw dropped trying to process what he was saying. “But I sucked your dick!” Wes shook his head with a joyful laugh behind it. “You see, that is completely different. An erected penis is like a wonderful piece of exotic fruit, enticing to the taste buds. It is a multi-layered piece of candy if you will, like a tootsie pop. Give it a few licks and a foamy prize comes oozing down into your throat. It’s like cracking open a coconut on an island owned by a multi-millionaire. But a vagina, now a vagina is not sweet to the taste buds, more bitter and acidic, like a lemon grown on a tree in the darkest pit of hell. Why would I eat something as filthy as a vagina? I might as well eat out of a dumpster behind Taco Bell. For Christ’s sake you bleed from there! I wouldn’t eat a dead fetus, why would I eat a vagina?” The busty blonde stood up and began to quickly put on her clothing. After she was clothed, she slapped Wes across the face. She then ran out before Wes could see her cry, slamming the door behind her. “Sorry if I won’t do something only a Fear Factor contestant would!” shouted Wes. After the excruciating sex and ejaculating what felt like a five pound dumbbell, Wes decided it was time to rest. He laid down and closed his eyes. “Fuck a woman and don’t make her cum and they all turn insane, such a weak and fragile species the woman.” Wes muttered more problems he found with the female species before finally drifting off into sleep. As Wes woke up the following morning, the sun shined down on him brighter than ever. It almost felt as if the sun was in the room with him. Wes held up his hand to his face and groaned. “Why did they turn up the brightness of the sun?” Wes muttered to himself. “It was already bright enough. OH MY GOD I’LL BE BLIND. I’LL NEED A K-9 WHO CAN SNIFF OUT VAGINA FOR THE SLEAZY AFFICANADO THAT I AM.” Wes saw a hand and felt a slap across his face. Did the busty blonde return? “Shut up you testosterone fueled faggot!” Wes felt a cold chill rush down his spine as he heard the words yelled at him. “Who the fuck was that? Who’s there? How’d you get in? I’m not a faggot! I only let that guy suck me off for five minutes. He didn’t even make me cum! I jacked myself off!” What Wes realized was a spotlight, not the sun was dimmed down so Wes could see two women in Nazi general uniforms. They both looked fugly at best, like they had just crawled out of some abandoned library. “We are the Feminazis, and you’re our toy now Wes!” Wes jumped up out of bed and ran for the bedroom door. As he made his way towards the doorway, another Feminazi stepped into view. She looked like the professional wrestler Chyna. Her uniform had the sleeves ripped off and the swatiska arm band squeezed around her massive and veiny biceps. Wes ran directly into a right hook and was knocked out cold within seconds. After Wes came to, he noticed that he was currently in a dim lit room in what looked like a basement. The Feminazis had been waiting for him to wake up. They were standing between him and the doorway. Wes sat up and rubbed his chin. “W-who are you?” “We are the Feminazis! I am General Jane Goring.” “And I am Commander Janis Himmler” “They call me Dicky Von Chop” said the buff Feminazi while crossing her arms. “You can probably imagine why.” Dicky Von Chop popped her fingers for dramatic effect. Wes felt his penis shrivel up during this. “We are the ones who police Tumblr!” said General Jane Goring. “We make sure men aren’t as opinionated as us.” Said Commander Janis. “OR THERE SHALL BE CONSEQUENCES! PUBLIC SHAMING! HAIL MENSTRATION!” All three Feminazis held up their right arm and hailed menstruation. “What the fuck do you want with me?” “We heard on a hook up complaint website that you do not eat pussy” said General Jane. The look she gave as she said this made it look as if it physically pained her to visualize someone who wouldn’t eat out a woman. “Don’t eat pussy?” said Dicky Von Chop. “Fucking men! And yet you used that tongue for ice cream as a child, pathetic!” “I just think it’s gross” said Wes. “Vaginas just aren’t sanitary for the tongue.” Commander Janis walked up to Wes and slapped him. “A pussy is a forbidden fountain everybody strives to bathe in. Dicks are just the creature that lives in the black lagoon.” “And vaginas aren’t that black lagoon?” Dicky Von Chop marched over to Wes and chopped him across the chest. The sound of the chop echoed in the basement followed by Wes’ groans of pain. “Only when they’re infected with a dick like yours! Your erection is the Ebola of sex!” Dicky Von Chop marched out of the room. In under a minute she came back with a square of carpet. She dropped the carpet in front of Wes and crossed her arms. “What?” Dicky Von Chop grabbed Wes by his hair and shoved his face into the carpet. “LICK THE CARPET FUCKFACE! THE CARPET FIBERS ARE THE CLIT! MAKE THEM ALL CUM!” Wes screamed like a tortured prisoner as he tongue brushed up against the rough carpet. “Ahh it burns!” “Yes! Yes! Yes!” cried General Jane. “Feel the burn!” The Feminazis marched a circle around Wes commanding that he feel the burn. Wes licked and licked. He licked with such aggression that his tongue caught on fire. Dicky Von Chop threw a bucket of water at him, putting out the fire. “Yes!” said Commander Janis. “You’re learning the ways of the pussy.” After this they closed and locked the door to Wes’ room. An hour or so after they left, Wes drifted off into sleep. Given that he didn’t want to lick the carpet again, this was his only choice. The following morning, the Feminazis came into Wes’ holding room. They woke him up and made him stand at attention. Commander Janis depanted Wes as Dicky Von Chop made her way out of the room. “Ugh finally! I thought you chicks were never going to jump on my bone, but they always do.” Stated Wes with a legend killer smirk as he developed an erection. General Jane smacked Wes’ penis. “Down boy! No erections in mein bunker! They are oppression to my vaginal beliefs!” Wes screeched and began to groan. “O this is nothing like Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS!” “O but it is” said General Jane. “Like the main character you will not be cumming!” Dicky Von Chop now entered the room holding a chastity belt. Before Wes could process what was happening Dicky Von Chop picked him up, put him in the chastity belt and locked it. “You will not be taking this off until you can lick a clit like a blind man sealing envelopes so I suggest you learn fast fuckboy!” said Dicky Von Chop. General Jane stood in front of Wes and dropped her pants. Wes began to dry heave as he saw her fat and hairy bush. “O Christ! It looks like a hedge you’d see in front of an abandoned mansion.” General Jane backhanded Wes as hard as she could, he fell to his knees and tasted blood. “Blasphemy! This is woman in her purest form! If I see pussy on Tumblr and they don’t have a bush like me, I publicly shame them until they’re out of a job and on the verge of suicide!” General Jane dropped down to all fours in a position where she looked like a Linda Blair in The Exorcist. She then began to crab walk over to Wes while flapping her tongue. “Rip and tear my pussy Wes, rip and tear my fucking pussy!” General Jane crab walked until her pussy was practically shoved down Wes’ throat. Wes began using his tongue to please her. As Wes licked and licked, Jane moaned. As the minutes rolled by, Wes could feel his tongue losing speed and power. After the first hour passed by, Wes felt his jaw clinch up and had to tap out. Wes fell down face first into the ground and General Jane rolled her eyes as she pulled her pants up. “Ugh! You’ve improved, but you still have the tongue of a bro who wears Affliction and enjoys the Fast and Furious franchise!” General Jane marched out of the room and slammed the door. Wes could hear her locking it from the outside. The only form of entertainment Wes had was a touch screen pad that only had access to feminist porn in his room. Given that he had nothing else to do and felt he had slept enough for now, he decided to see what exactly feminist porn was. He touched the screen and put on a title called Tweet This Fuckwad! The film began with a guy with spiked up hair covered in gel. He was drooling over his cell phone. The camera cut to the screen to show that he was using twitter to tweet out the hashtag #FeministsAreUgly. “With this tweet I shall end the world of feminists know it today! There shall be no more bra burning or HBO sitcoms with average looking girls, only a life of baking pies for fundraisers inside of a kitchen they’ll never leave, other than sucking my conservative cock in the bedroom obviously!” the guy followed this up with an evil Bond villain laugh. After saying all of this, three fat and disgusting looking women flew through the air. They were dressed as superheroes wearing bright pink capes with a car muff on it. “O drats” said the guy. “Not the Defenders of the Muff!” “Well if it isn’t our nemesis, Testosterone Ted!” said one of the Defenders of the Muff, who looked like a reject member of Reel Big Fish with dyed hair, glasses and multiple tattoos. “Quit oppressing us with your testicular opinions Ted!” said a Defender of the Muff who appeared to be Asian. She resembled Yoko Ono if she ate John Lennon and took up Sumo wrestling as a career. “Yeah Ted! We want equal rights, so delete your tweet and stay voiceless!” said a Defender of the Muff who looked like Kate Micucci from Garfunkel and Oates if she ate Kelly Clarkson. “O it’s too late for that feminists! My tweet is already trending so you just might as well go to Macy’s and apply whatever makeup is trendy!” “NEVER!” yelled Yoko Ono Defender of the Muff. Yoko Ono and Reel Big Fish flew into the air and straight to Testosterone Ted. Both girls grabbed a thumb and ripped it from his hands. Testosterone Ted screamed in pain as blood flowed from the open wounds. “NO! HOW SHALL I TWEET FOR MY MENINIST PAGES?” Next, Kate Micucci Defender of the Muff took to the air and and flew towards Testosterone Ted. She reached into his mouth and pulled out his tongue. Testosterone Ted opened his mouth and said something inbetween gargling up blood. Wes read the subtitles that appeared on the screen. “Now how will I tell people that Pinterest is only for girls who will grow up to be surrounded by their mother’s old cookbooks in a studio apartment?” The Defenders of the Muff took the body parts they held and shoved them down the pants of their costumes. As they pleasured themselves with the discarded body parts, beams of light shot up towards the air. The film followed the beams of light over to the headquarters of Twitter. In the film, they depicted the headquarters as a blue building with a giant mural of a blue bird on their building. The three beams of light combined and destroyed the Twitter building, resembling any explosion seen in the Die Hard films. The film then showed how screenshots and retweets of Testosterone Ted’s tweet virtually disappeared from the internet like memories in front of the Men in Black. “We did it girls” said Reel Big Fish Defender of the Muff. “The world is once again safe for women.” Said Yoko Ono Defender of the Muff. “Menstruation prevails!” said the Garfunkel and Oates Defender of the Muff. They took to the air and left Testosterone Ted thumbless and tongueless. “Wow….” Said Wes unable to remove his eyes from the screen. “That made Siberian Film look like Veggie Tales.” Wes turned off the screen and sat back against the wall trying to imagine how he was going to get out of this very fucked up situation. He wondered to himself if he could kill one of the Feminazis, cut her flesh off and wear it and get them to believe he was one of them. It seemed unlikely. He would probably first need to adapt an unhealthy obsession with cats and smell of first blind dates that never lead to second dates before that ever happened. As Wes stared off into the distance, he saw a piece of paper rolled up in a hole in one of the walls. He walked over to the wall and pulled out the piece of paper. So I was captured by these freakin dykes who want me to eat pussy. How fucked up and gross is that? What next? Support gay rights? Yeah, that’s about as likely as me not watching the NFL playoffs and yelling nigger at the screen when a football player doesn’t perform to my standards. Spoilers: That ain’t never fucking happenin baby. I played junior year so I know what it’s like to give it you’re all on the field, and I call those monkeys on their laziness! Anyways, back to eating the snatches of these bitches who look like something that crawled out of Margaret Cho’s asshole, got a face lift at some place inside of Rosie O Donnell’s asshole and moved into Janeane Garofalo’s asshole. I can’t see myself ever eating pussy. Wood any of the characters on Entourage eat pussy? Only faggots eat pussy! Deuces, Dominic Wes felt refreshed after reading the letter. He would find a way out of this hellhole without giving up the sanctity of his tongue. Hell, if Wes was going to taste fish he’d just got to Long John Silvers! As he was putting away the letter, he saw a second one inside of the wall. Wes pulled this one out, unrolled it and began to read. I need to get the fuck out of here. I can’t rot away in this shithole with these cunt Feminazis. I should be in a Hooters hitten on some girl I bullied in high school while I watch a UFC PPV. Maybe I well eat out those broads. With there hairy bushes I can just pretend that I’m kissing the sweet and seductive lips of the great Pam Grier. Back when she was rocking an afro in her exploitation films, such cinematic classics like Women in Cages, Foxy Brown and Scream Blacula Scream. It’ll make something as horrible and morbid like eating pussy far easier on my mental health. Deuces, Dominic Wes nodded at this, of course. It had been so simple. He would just pretend the hairy bushes of the feminazis are the sweet and tinder lips of Pam Grier. He knew it was what he would have to do because just like Dominic, he wanted to be in a place as sleazy as Hooters. He missed the wings and aroma of cum building up in the testicles of men who had been unsatisfied for years. The air that was filled with hate and testosterone was something Wes loved. He wished Yankee Candle made a scent so he could have the experience at home. Wes laid back and until he grew tired, imagined what it would be like visualizing Pam Grier’s face as he ate these horrible looking broads out. Hopefully they were hygienic so it was easier to imagine, hopefully. Once Wes fell asleep and entered the dream world, he found himself in a Zen garden surrounded by beautiful trees, water fountains and Asian men brushing sand. In the middle of this area stood an older man. There was nothing about him that said he was a sleazy pervert, but something inside of Wes was telling him that the man was sleazier than a character Ron Jeremy portrayed. “You are young Wes, captive of the Feminazis yes?” said the old man. Wes nodded in reply. “Tis I who will teach you the ancient arts of licking pussy. I shall teach you techniques so powerful, it’ll kill the feminazis and you’ll be able to escape.” Wes seemed taken back. “Woah! Kill them? But they’ll just release me once I make them cum.” The old man rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Are you stupid enough to think they’re going to release you? Once you make them cum they’ll kill you! Once you make them cum they’ll see you as too powerful and kill you. Then they’ll chop your dick off like all the others.” “Others?” The old man took Wes’ hand and they flew through the air like The Ghost of Christmas Past and Ebenezer Scrooge. They landed in a room right next door to where Wes was currently held captive. He looked down at himself sleeping and found it quite odd. Once they had entered the room, Wes looked around in horror. Surrounding him were dozens upon dozens of severed penises. These penises would never be inside of another girl they had just made eye contact with at a bar while Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing played. Wes stayed silent as he looked at every penis as a way of paying respect. “Now you know how severe the situation you’re in is.” “But how will you train me to because a master of eating pussy to such a degree that I can kill someone with my tongue?” “Oh I have my methods boy.” Wes’ dream then turned into a very sleazy training montage. First he began by chasing a girl who was dressed like a chicken. There was a slit in the costume for easy access. After Wes had finally caught up with her, he threw her down and began eating her out until she exploded like a volcano. Next was a girl hanging by her back from a meat hook. Wes had a condom over his tongue with a boxing glove on it. He ate her out until she squirted. As her screams echoed in the meat locker, a southern giant came in with a flesh mask on wielding a chainsaw. Somehow, Wes escaped without being chopped up. Before Wes woke up, he recalled running across the beach with a black woman, beating her in the race and celebrating by eating her out underwater. She came so hard, she shot up into the air like a bottle rocket. After Wes woke up, he flicked his tongue around and could feel the strength and muscle now within it. He felt like he was ready to bust out of his holding cell. Once Wes was up for an hour or so, the door to the room he was in was kicked open and the feminazis marched in. “Are we finally ready to eat pussy Wes?” asked General Jane. “Yeah Wes, ready to make me feel like the Nazis when they occupied France?” asked Commander Janis. “You better make me cum or I’m gonna snap your dick six million times” said Dicky Von Chop. “O I’m ready girls” It was General Jane who first took her pants off and sat on Wes’ face. She rode his tongue like it was a mechanical bull in a rundown country bar. Commander Janis and Dicky Von Chop watched with awe as Wes made Genral Jane scream and moan. After a half hour, Wes made General Jane cum. She squirted so much fluid out; she now had a six pack from all the water weight she had lost. As she came, Wes held her so she couldn’t get away. He continued to eat her out, to the point where her body now ejaculated blood. It was the only fluid left in her. Wes sucked her dry like a sleazy leech. Once the girls realized what was happening, Wes had rolled over to them and began to finger both of them at the same time. The pleasure and precision with how he fingered them kept them immobile and distracted. His chop stick like method shut the girls’ brains off and kept them opened to the pleasure. Wes focused his tongue on Commander Jane. Within minutes, he had her cumming through her eyeballs. She came so hard that her eyeballs popped out of her skull. Next, the fluids rushed up from her through her throat and flooded her mouth. She died drowning in her own pleasure soda. All that was left was the roided up goon, Dicky Von Chop. Wes bent down and began to eat her out. The stench and aroma coming from her was horrible. The steroids in her system made her vagina taste sour and metallic. Wes was able to continue when he thought back on the letters that the feminazis had no doubt written. He closed his eyes and distracted himelf away from the overbearing stench. He imagined that he was in a field of flowers with Pam Grier, making out with her before they got down to fucking like rabbits hopped up on cocaine. Wes’ tongue began to beat at Dicky Von Chop’s gigantic clit like it was a speed bag. Wes rolled up his tongue for one final punch and gave it all he had. This caused an orgasm so powerful that Dicky Von Chop’s vagina exploded like a bomb and split her body into two. After all three Feminazis were dead, Wes ran out of the house and into the streets. Once he was able to recover from being held captive by the Feminazis, Wes and the city created a memorial burial ground for the bros who had lost their lives and johnsons to the Feminazis. At the ceremony, Wes sprayed a can of Axe body spray into the wind to signify that the bros who lost their lives to the Feminazis would continue to go on and would be wherever we could smell Axe Phoenix. Wes is currently writing a book about the sexual encounters and drunken nights he’s shared with people who wanted to hang out with the survivor of the Feminazis. Ironically, he is also opening a sports bar with Tucker Max.
2015.07.24 20:28 illuminessBeing a gay trans woman is a bitch...
Not only is my dating pool tiny (especially since I'm asexual and homo-romantic), I seem to bewilder people for what I'm attracted to. I’ve always had an attraction to butch and “soft butch” women. Some might say, “so why not just date a guy?” Uhhh… because it’s not about masculinity 100%. If you’re a man, there’s a certain attitude and chemistry there that just doesn’t work with me. Butch or femme, a woman is a woman. There may be differences of style and personality between them, but that doesn’t change the essence of being a woman. I just happen to like the butch or androgynous ones. Even as a kid my crushes were on the more tomboyish actresses like Christina Ricci and Janeane Garofalo. I’m a lezzie in a less desirable body. Get over it.
2015.03.25 20:59 bacon_hummersA list I made of movies where characters sing while driving in a car.
Over the past ten years or so, I have compiled this list of movies where characters sing while driving in a car (train/bus/motorcycle also seem to fit). This doesn't happen in all movies but I tend to remember movies where I see this occur more than I do others. I guess it makes me think the characters are happier.
8 Heads In A Duffle Bag - Joe Pesci - The Contours - Do You Love Me?
40-Year Old Virgin - ? - Missy Elliot - Get Ur Freak On
A Christmas Story - Several - Bing Crosby/The Andrews Sisters - Jingle Bells
A Hard Day’s Night – The Beatles – The Beatles - I Should Have Known Better (sung on a train)
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls - Jim Carrey - Sherman & Sherman - Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang
Almost Famous - Several - Elton John - Tiny Dancer (sung in a bus)
American Beauty - Annette Bening - Bobby Darin - Don't Rain On My Parade
American Beauty - Kevin Spacey - American Woman - The Guess Who
American History X - Ethan Suplee - William Steffe - Battle Hymn of the Republic/The White Man Marches On
When I was 16 I used to be a security escort outside of a woman's clinic to keep women safe from anti-abortion protestors. Basically, I was a bouncer. My mom and I would do that on Saturday mornings. Thing is, most of them were going in for health screenings and/or free birth control. Such a weird thing. I've tried to write jokes about it, but it's hard to wrap your head around.
I had the misfortune of killing the first time I did stand up. That's the worst thing that can happen, because it makes you think it's easy. About the fifth time, I ate. My. Dick. It was so horrible. I introduced the next guy and jumped sideways onto the couch backstage. I felt like I'd been kicked in the balls.
Was always huge into it, since I was a kid. Low End Theory, 36 Chambers, Bizarre Ride Into the Pharcyde, Long Live the Kane, Amerikkka's Most Wanted, D.O.C's No One Can Do it Better, so many more. I went kinda old school, just off the top of my head. Right now I like the new Joey Bada$$ and Vince Staple's EP.
Boy, I think the more you learn on your own the better, and it's best not to meet your idols. That said, Don Rickles, how can I also be a jerk for fun and profit? I could see a comedy bubble, but there are plenty of people (including me) who still do it for free and for the love of it. You can't say the same thing about apps.
Thanks! Yeah, we only used one of the tapings, rather than cherry-pick from the two. That's because someone shut off the AC so the duck hanging from the ceiling (you'll see) wouldn't blow around. As a result, everybody was hot and tired and I got all sweaty. So the second night we made sure to turn it on and it was a way better show.
We're analytical, and that often leads to sadness. I mean, you break anything down enough you'll get depressed. Also, we're neurotic. Meaning "everything is bad because I've of something I did," which is pretty stupidly egotistical, when you think about it. Also, sheesh, look at us. What a bunch of losers.
It's Friday, so you should treat yourself. You've had a big week. Go with a ribeye, some grilled asparagus, and a couple glasses of a good Malbec. Or if you're a vegetarian, a big pan of homemade mac n' cheese with a frisee salad on the side.
He recently took a picture of me looking at my phone while we were at an audition together and posted it on twitter with the caption "Look at this dumb gorilla trying to understand how a phone works." He has a gift.
Just go up as often as possible and hammer away at the jokes, make them as good as possible. That's about it. Oh, and live life, experience things. God, I wish I had a cooler answer like "take acid and walk into the desert."
Pryor, Carlin, Brian Regan, Maria Bamford, Bill Burr, the list goes on and on. Um, wow, Kyle Kinane, Ted Alexandro, Beth Stelling, Kate Berlant, Maria, Burr, Chris Rock. God, so many. It's an embarrassment of riches. Thanks!
Hahaha oh, he didn't. I just didn't have anywhere else to live. I'd left Chicago en route to LA and had only stopped off in PDX to visit my parents for two weeks. Just goes to show everybody, no matter where you are, it's always dumb to drink and drive!
You got it. I'd pick a neighborhood to booze in, Lakeview, Logan Square, and Pilsen are good ones. My favorite all-around bar is probably Jake's on Clark. Hmm, maybe good whiskey with a can of beer on the side?
HA! Yes, I loved pissing off my lovely pal Janeane too. Thanks. Good question. I love a lot of the new Joey Bada$$. Mike Eagle is great. Also, what I've heard of the new Action Bronson is spectacular. OH! And I love Vince Staples' "Hell Can Wait" EP.
I've opened for him a couple times in years past, and he's always been supportive. He's a fun dude, and just as weird as he comes off. The special recording was a blast. We did it at the Bell House in Brooklyn.
Thanks! Literally the first Q I got was "Who gives a shit?" and it made me howl laughing. I agree with you AND that person. No, not a dead end. Everybody wants to come here (I'm here right now). Haha, they go of their own volition! Look at it this way, LA will fall into the ocean someday. Portland (beloved of God) will not.
Actually the TV I like might be surprising. When I watch TV I tend to want to escape. It comes and goes in waves. Currently I am watching the new season of Project Runway. I wish Tim Gunn would follow me around and tell me to "Make it work!" I can't wait for the next season of "Downton Abbey." And I am really sad that 30 Rock is coming to an end. Tina Fey is a genius, and Alec Baldwin is who I want to be when I grow up. And I pretend my daughter likes "Phineas and Ferb" so I can watch it. I could keep going as I realize this list is weird...
I'm back for a few minutes. A little earlier than i thought. So I will answer some more questions while I have some time.
Sorry I didn't answer this one first. I wanted to make sure I gave it the thought and consideration it deserved. I think race is such an important factor in American society (I can only speak for us because this is the place I live.) because we as a nation have race it so important throughout our country's history. And when I say "we" I mean the people who took this country from the Indigenous People and then brought Africans over to work as slaves. Racial differences are a part of the founding of this country. And from the founding of this country up through today racial differences are a part of our daily lives. And clearly many people see racial differences as a negative and key part of who a person is. (If you don't believe me then just Google the Obama birther controversy.)
Also I don't see race as an entirely negative thing. Despite all the baggage, I love being black. I wouldn't have it any other way.
When I was a kid I LOOOVED Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor. I was also a huuuge fan of Saturday Night Live. Obviously Chris Rock has been a major inspiration. Bring the Pain is one of my favorite comedy specials of all-time. And Bill Hicks is maybe my favorite of all-time.
My experience has been incredible. They truly stand by the creators of their shows and let us dictate the content. And actually every time they have given us feedback on an episode I have agreed with them. I don't believe I would have had this opportunity anywhere else on TV. FX ROCKS!... Also Chris Rock ROCKS!
Wow, these are all such great questions. This is a lot of fun and there are waaay more questions than I expected. I am being called into a production meeting for tomorrow's show right now. But I will be back at around 1:30pm to keep answering questions. Thanks everybody. You rule!
We have several writers on the staff (including myself), but as the executive producer I make sure that the opinions and jokes are things I can stand behind, should I ever have to defend them ( like I do on Twitter when I live Tweet the show when it runs one the East Coast at 11pm. @wkamaubell.)
The writers are all comics. They are Nato Green, Dwayne Kennedy, Janine Brito, Kevin Avery, Kevin Kataoka, Danny Vermont, Hari Kondabolu, and head writer Chuck Sklar.
Chris Rock saw my solo show "The W. Kamau Bell Curve: Ending Racism in About an Hour" in 2010 at The UCB Theater in NYC. He then called me up out of the blue (THAT WAS A CRAZY PHONE CALL TO GET!) and said he wanted to do a show with me. Even though I really had no idea how that worked, I flew to NYC and met with him and Chuck Sklar (a writer he has worked with since the HBO Chris Rock Show). Eventually we shot a pilot presentation --- That is an independently funded pilot that you then try to sell to a network, in case you didn't know. I sure didn't. Then Chris met with FX and they bought the show. Chris comes around a few days a week and sprinkles his space magic all over the show. Sometimes it is career advice. Sometimes it is punchlines. And sometimes it is helping us hustle up guests. He is awesome to have as a mentor. I call him Foul Mouthed Yoda.
I think podcasting is here to stay. We just have to make sure that the Internet remains free and neutral, so all us weird podcasters can continue to experiment and grow. Net Neutrality is the key. Podcasting is just the natural extension of old school radio. The power is in the hands of the creators where it always belongs. I am happy to see that some podcasters have figured out a way to earn money from them. Marc Maron is a hero for really showing the way.
I'd love to but unfortunately I have a show tomorrow so today is kind of busy writing and re-writing. But if you want come to a taping of Totally Biased go to www.blacklistnyc.com. Thanks for the invite though. Seriously.
Last year I went to Fighting Bob Fest in Wisconsin with my socio-political stand-up comedy group called Laughter Against The Machine. It featured many different lefties giving speeches to fire up the Wisconsin Democrats for the recall election and other issues. One of the people featured was Cornel West. After he spoke I was walking around and people kept thanking me for coming to Fighting Bob Fest. At first I flattered myself thinking that they new I was a comedian, but then I realized that many, many, MANY of them thought I was Cornel West. Which I thought was weirdly insulting to both of us. I'm not as old as him and he's way more put together than me.
I reeeally miss the West Coast. Well actually I miss the Bay Area. I'm going back soon for a visit. The Bay Area is a very easy place to live. But I love living in NYC, especially since I have a job and I get to work with my friends. My wife is born and raised Bay Area so she is making a big adjustment. My daughter though is fitting in excellently.
No, it hasn't kicked in yet. I hope to go out on a stand-up tour soon. We are calling it "The Kamau Mau Uprising!" And maybe that will kick it in. Although I am very aware that I am a tiny fish in the ocean of the entertainment industry so if I just find more people to come see my live stand-up shows I will be very happy. I don't have to have an E Channel reality show... yet.
We are writing very similarly as we do for SF audiences. But we are learning that we have to get to the punchlines faster. TV doesn't cotton to meandering, Bay Area, pokey-ness.
I had no idea I had ANY fanbase in Pakistan. YOU ALL ROCK!!! Thank you!
Thank you for watching! I like to think that my show brings married people together. Guests are something I think about a LOT. We are just beginning so there are many people we would love to have. Rachel Maddow was quite a coup for us. And this Thursday I am excited to have Issa Rae from Awkward Black Girl. Link to awkwardblackgirl.com
I would looove to have Denzel Washington, Tim Gunn, Jon "Bones" Jones, Levar Burton, Henry Rollins, Louis CK... It goes on...
And for our last show I am excited and humbled to announce that we will have Janeane Garofalo. (I always panic when I speel her name. Am I right?)
I have met him... several times. We are friends in fact. I am also a member of the Black Panel in his bestselling book, "How To Be Black". He is one of a kind. One of the coolest, smartest, and most generous, most genuine (Is that a thing?) people I know. Do you follow him on Twitter. @baratunde.
Hi, Fred. Maybe if we get to season two I will bench press, Chris. I'm pretty confident I could do it. I haven't seen David Spade in a while so I can't speak on him. I will try to keep kicking ass. And I hope to see you soon!
My mom is a self-made, self-employed totally self-aware citizen of the world who grew up during the Civil Rights movement, and always made it her mission to make sure I understood what it meant to be black in America. I love my mom. I'm sure she's reading this now. So be nice. Please.
My mom's extremely proud of what I'm doing, although I have one of those mom's who would probably be proud of anything I did. She'd figure out a way. But yes, she is absolutely proud of this. She's already come out once to watch the first show taping, and she's coming again for the last one.
Yes. Since the premiere of Totally Biased I have been flooded with messages telling me that I look like some version of "black Seth Rogen". My favorite was the person who said i looked like the spawn of Seth Rogen and Cornel West.
I think Obama has a pretty good shot at winning the election, in large part because Romney seems to have such a hard time connecting with us regular folk. Being a child of privilege will do that to you. I can't honestly say that I would consider voting for Gary Johnson in this election. I often find myself finding the Libertarian points of view interesting but then usually there's some nugget of an Obama-with-a-Hitler-mustache in there that pushes me away. But I am certainly willing to learn more.
Hari is taking it fine despite the fact that I regularly ask him to pull out his phone so I can compare our number of twitter followers. He seems to think I have an unfair advantage because I have a TV show. I don't think that's true.
I met him of a short political comedy tour I did in the SF Bay area that was led by Nato Green. Nato knew we'd become fast friends and we did. Hari is a genius, but don't tell him I said so. He'll get a big head.
This is a really great question. As you can see from reading this thread there are several people like that here. I respect everyone's right to have their own opinion. Certainly I don't expect everyone to like me, but every time somebody comes at me with unfocused anger or unnecessary meanness, I do feel a little bit like I am done. But thanks to comments like yours and a lot of other people I've talked to today, I keep moving forward. When it comes right down to it, I want to be just as funny as every comedian. We just all get there in different ways.
Yes, I know about Miles Morales. I even knew about him before the commercial. I was actually referring to the fact that I wanted to be Spider-Man in a movie and how they didn't let Donald Glover have an audition. Donald Glover would make a much better Spider-Man than me, by the way. My butt's too big for Spandex. Not that I'm familiar with Donald Glover's butt.
Being the host of a TV show means you get to hear lots of good stuff and lots of other stuff that maybe you didn't want to hear. But that's just part of the gig. I understand we all have different opinions about comedy and I'm not everybody's cup of tea. Not everybody likes a large black tea with lots of sugar and a little bit of milk.
My parents were, like a lot of black people in the 70s, trying to find connections to the homeland of Africa. In northern CA, it belonged to a "tribe" of black people. I was the first baby born into the "tribe." When I was a kid, my mom went to Africa and visited Kenya. Many people were excited that she gave her kid an African name and while she was there, they called her "Mother of Kamau."
I was always a big fan of comedy as a kid. I loved SNL, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby. I always felt like it was a cool job, but I didn't know how to do it. It wasn't until my mom signed be up for classes at Second City, that I thought I could do this. Also, my best friend in the world, Jason took me to my first two open mics.
First of all, I love Morgan Freeman. I'm a huge fan and I believe in most cases, intelligent people can have different opinions. I believe the best way to end racism is to talk about it when you're not already angry about it. It seems like most of the time in this country, we only talk about issues of race, religion, sex, sexuality when we're already mad about it. If we had discussions about those issues before we got angry, I think it would actually help end all of the -isms. PS. I love Morgan Freeman. I would love to have him as a guest on my show. Does Morgan Freeman have a switch in his house where he can turn off all discussion of race and racism? If so, then I'm totally for it. Flip that switch Mr. Freeman. I'll find other stuff to joke about.
The only thing about doing the show that I don't like is that I'm so new to it, and I'm constantly learning. I think about the beginnings of a lot of shows now, not that I'm comparing myself to them. But we don't remember Seinfeld for the first season, we remember it for the following seasons. I hope that if Totally Biased gets to stay for a while, it will grow into the thing that I think it can be. Thanks - that was a really great question!
I love the man on the street stuff too. We have a great piece tonight on the show. Not exactly man on the street, but you'll dig it. We've invited some biased guests, even confirmed one, but he cancelled. Maybe if we get to a second season, they'll feel more comfortable about coming on the show. I hope so. I love talking to people that think differently than I do - as long as they're sane.
Thank you. I'm glad you like the show. I believe it will get better too if we get a chance. Tell @TotallyBiasedFX you want #MoreKamauBell.
At first when we started shooting that piece I thought people might be hostile, but it was really fun and people seemed to like it. Unfortunately me and Franz's marriage didn't work out. It only lasted 24 hours and then I went back to my wife.
We approached her. She was absolutely at the top of my list to interview for the show, and it just so happened that one of the producers on the show had worked with her before on Air America. I could have talked with Rachel for days and days. She was everything I wanted her to be and more, and I am still a little butthurt that I haven't been invited to her house for brunch yet.
Well we're in NY right now, working on "Totally Biased." And I'm putting together a tour to be announced soon (at wkamaubell.com) and Janine is likely going to be my opener...if she doesn't mess things up. Also, Janine is sitting to my left right now, as I type this, and making me say nice things about her. Also, she's blushing about the nice things you said about her.
We have two more segments where I talk to people on the street, to release. It was awesome to sit down with Kevin Powell. He's a firestarter, the best kind of person to have a conversation with. Who knew we'd end up with that dude from The Real World? I still think he's the most successful guy in history of that show.
My thoughts about this entire issue are still processing. I certainly feel sad for the loss of life. I feel frustrated about some people's inability to accept Islam as a religion just like any other religion. I'm not a Muslim. If I had to ID myself with any religion, it would be Christianity. As far as I know, all religions have done good things and bad things. I also feel sorry for the actors who were involved in the film that got some of this started. Apparently they didn't know they were making an anti-Islam film. I watched the whole 14 minute trailer and it's equal parts poorly made and gross. Having said that, many comics do use Islam as a place to find humor. The ones who do it best are actually Muslim. Comics like Azhar Yusman, Hasan Minhaj, Shazia Mirza, Ahmed Ahmed, and many many others.
First of all, I don't want to blame Republicans as a group. I have Republicans in my family. I think the next generation of Republicans is far more reasonable that the current leaders of the GOP. As far as that statistic goes, I would guess 15% of people don't know what the fuck is going on about ANYTHING. If you asked those same people "Do you believe in gravity?" you might get a similar inane response. I think when the next generation of Republicans takes over the Democrats are gonna be in real trouble. Because the next generation of Republicans doesn't care about who you marry, who you sleep with, or what religion you practice, as long as you don't mess with their money, and that's something I think Americans in both parties can get behind.
I'm probably the wrong person to ask about that. I'd guess of course there are conservative comedians. I think in general, as a comedic perspective, using the label of conservative doesn't really buy you much. You can usually look at a comic's act and have a pretty good guess as to their politics. It just happens that in this country, liberals are thought of as the little guy, and conservatives are thought of as the big guy. I'm not saying that's true or not, but generally humor is better when it's the little guy attacking the big guy. Now of course, there's plenty of humor out there where it's the big guy attacking the little guy. But in general, I subscribe to what Molly Ivins said about satire being the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.
Heeeyyy SF comic. Always good to talk to one of my own. I think the bay area is a good place to become a good comic, but it's not a good place to make a splash. It's a great place to get really good and then move someplace else and surprise everyone with how good you are. The thing to do in the bay area is to take advantage of the fact that there are tons of little rooms and places you can rent and put on your OWN show, instead of being a guest on someone else's show. That's what worked best for me.
If you're not a straight white male over 6 feet tall, then there are -isms you have to deal with. I'm not claiming the ones I have to deal with are better or worse than others. I was black before I was a comedian so it's hard to judge the racism of the industry versus the racism of life. I'm just following the examples of other black comedians before me, and luckily I have the support of one of the greatest black comedians of all time. Without that support, I wouldn't have this TV show.
I haven't spent a lot of time here before. Last time I was here it was to read Louis CK's AMA and I thought to myself, "that looks like a hard thing to do." Now that I'm on the other side of it I know it is a hard thing to do. I wish I could spend more time today doing this. It's just that we have a show tomorrow. But thank you all for your questions. It's nice to know that people out there care about Totally Biased.
Last updated: 2012-09-17 01:06 UTC This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
2011.06.24 13:12 unstopjuggernautIamA guy with an amazing real-life super power that has improved my sex life immensely. AMA!
I am attracted to women based on their personality and not at all by their looks, think Shallow Hal. I'm a slightly above average looking guy, maybe a 7/10. I'm never the hottest guy at the club/bago kart track but I've been called handsome more than once - usually by relatives. I usually end up dating people that would be considered 3/10 to 6/10. Size and looks play almost no role in my attraction to a female. One thing that puts me off is low self confidence so that tends to be a deal breaker when it comes to really big or super unattractive girls. My college friends started calling me "The Unstoppable Judge-her-not" and "Shallow Hal" based on my "ability". At first everyone assumes I'm a chubby chaser because a lot of the girls I have dated tend to be heavier in stature but that isn't the case. The other weird thing is I tend to not find famous people, models, actresses, and really hot girls attractive at all if I don't know what they are like on a personal level. Example - I'm more attracted to Janeane Garofalo than I am to Halle Berry just because I think JG is funny and down to earth and I have absolutely no idea how HB is in real life. This makes fapping to conventional mediums difficult. My usual protocol is to avoid high maintenance girls because they are usually shallow and uninteresting...Not all obviously, but most are. My ideal partner is confident and comfortable in their own skin, supremely smart and interesting, and has a huge sense of humor. Beyond those criteria the rest is unimportant, especially appearance. I can be truly happy in a relationship and completely attracted to a person most guys would find conventionally unattractive so AMA.
2011.01.28 05:35 theblakeshow32How many different women did Jerry Seinfeld date during the 180 episode, 9 seasons of 'Seinfeld?'
So I am probably one of the biggest Seinfeld fans around and I wanted to bring something up to the Reddit community as a question to see if there was a way we could work together to find this answer... While I think we can all agree Jerry Seinfeld is a great entertainer and comedian, he is not the best looking to grace prime-time television (I mean his competition was Michael Richards and Jason Alexander, but nonetheless...) However, my friends and I always agree that Jerry was an overachiever. I guess in the show he was a very well known comedian, but still, the amount of women and quality to constantly surround the Jerry character is quite incredulous. It seems Jerry was never susceptible to the so-called "cold streak" me and my fellow men know about. I am going to name a couple off the top of my head to get this started. Maybe we can try to figure out all of Jerry's girlfriends with pictures and whatnot to determine the actual number during the 180 episodes. I swear he never dated them for more than 2 episodes and there were so many. (Btw, not sure if we should count Janeane Garofalo...) Terri Hatcher Christine Taylor Jennifer Coolidge Amanda Peete...
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